In Least-Professional Broadcast Ever, ESPN Announcers Mock Wrecked Rallycross Driver As He’s Taken To Hospital

You are a terrible person. +1

How the hell did you avoid this list? Or at the very least your parody account?

+1

There was some initial confusion as to how many bodies were discovered when a partial listing of the freezer's contents revealed three arms and a hammer.

Sounds like Marcus Bachmann's inner monologue.

Oh, give me a break... there's no evidence at all that this guy was embezzling money. He was definitely playing with Tyler Hansbrough's mom's jubblees and smashing on her vag, and also taking trips with her, but, unless you have some information that the rest of us don't, please try to keep the conversation on topic.

...has raised billions of dollars for us.

"Hi, I'm Jimmer Fredette. Are you worried about the state of the world today? Are you concerned that recent global unrest could tip off a full-scale world war? Well, we here at Daily Bread share those fears and we're here to assist you in the event of a societal collapse. By purchasing 25 years worth of food from…

Dear, Mr. Lee.

So great. Although, it's almost impossible to believe that Mushnick's article isn't itself a parody.

I have to disagree, Kate. The advent of the Internet has changed standards and shifted paradigms, whether we care to acknowledge it or not. Most of what was once considered "misogynist" or "daring" is flat-out mundane by the new standards by which we live. Thinking that men (or women) would even bat an eyelash at a…

+1

+1

It is New Years Eve with testicles.

Prison Warden: [stands in front of full yard of inmates] [speaks into megaphone] Alright, listen up! Listen up! I called this meeting because we've had some issues recently that we need to discuss. I shouldn't have to keep bringing these things up, but some people just can't seem to understand basic instructions.…

Yeah, but the guy did a sick Baba O'Reilly encore at the Spectrum in 1970. No wonder he got gored... must be like 65 years old.

Ivan was instilled with a tremendous ability to deal with difficult situations from birth, when his parents bestowed on him the middle name "Tuhjerk".

+1

It is unfathomable and illogical to think that a respected family sociologist and family therapist, someone who experienced massive and persistent abuse as a child, someone who devoted a significant portion of his career to the welfare of children and youth, including service on the boards of four such organizations,…