My trench with an exhaust port runs north-south, as well.

The fact that Fatty McGoo is the lowest ranked over the episode with Shandy Nasty proves this list is a lie.

He may very well have a job. If you work for big oil, however, you might start touching up the ol’ resume.

All the rednecks will enjoy their $8000 iPhone 12, when it’s “Made in the USA.” Food stamps and a busted ass pickup truck be damned, their 14lbs., gas powered iPhone will keep them warm.

There may be a kernel of truth to this theory, I’m all ears.

Two Bud Lites and suddenly everyone’s learning “the email”.

Did this get cross-posted on Jezebel?

Hans Solo Does Alderaan.

And like that, Indiana Jones 5 was born.

Terrible song choice for the trailer. Should have gone with that Woodson song from AC Revelations. Way better mood to set.

I worked at the Apple Store. Trust me - those cables weren’t stopping people who really wanted a phone.

Gorillas out for Harambe

Calling your phone a “nightmare” because the Bluetooth isn’t working properly is like calling dinner “a disaster” because the mashed potatoes were too lumpy.

1988 called and it wants its baseless arguments back.

Oh man, there are “coughing supression machines”? We should all have those then.

#spoiler Turns out both their mothers’ names are “Martha.”

DID YOU JUST ASSUME THAT COMMENTER’S GENDER AND RACE?!?!

“Mr. Cook,

Turn off iMessage and use regular SMS?