I think the travesty is that no one is mentioning the straight Panera across the street. How come no one is up in arms over its exclusion?

If it was a lesbian bar, they would have just assumed someone was on a second date.

Because "a salty road" could literally be anywhere in the Midwest right now and "Woofs" is pictured clearly in the photo? Also, because it's a Nissan Note.

Yeah, I hate adjectives too. They describe stuff and that's totally not necessary.

I work near the one in Chicago, and have personally witnessed no less than two tantrums on the street outside that store. I can only imagine how many go on inside on a daily basis.

If the Silver Surfer comes to fight your kid, I want video footage.

Entering that store with a small female child is like going to a bar with an alcoholic who doesn't know he has a problem.

They'll Tokyo Drift his ashes out over the raceway.

You couldn't say 'pregnant' either.

What a pain in the ass.

you are correct, sir!

BZZZZZZZ BZZZZZZ

Here's a solution to stay safe:

You forgot the rest of the list...

Apple Store guy is that kid, come back from the future to witness the moment that fucked him up for the rest of his life.

Goes without saying, my man.

Because football fans will stare at anything if there are beer ads?

NY Post headline:

Yes, but has he ever seen boobies in real life?