It’s an excuse to get day drunk.

As a white woman, I would also like an answer to this...like noooooo.

*Sing songs excitedly* The margin is too big for a reeeecount! (It has to be .5% or less).

I just wanna taste Trump’s Tropicana tears right now.

This was the second* book my estranged mother sent me after I stopped contact and I never read it basically because of that. The more I hear about it, the more I think I should stop being such an ass and pick it up again.

I read this book in 2014 and I still find myself thinking about it sometimes. I looked up my review and I gave it four stars, so maybe I should change that based on the fact that it’s never quite left me (or at least reread it).

My jaw literally dropped when I read this. Like, mouth hanging open, shock and horror, eyes wide in disbelief. Everyday I think that it can’t get worse...but then I’m amazed. Come on world, do better!

“I’m sorry your face was in my foot’s path.”

I don’t mind him but my mom said he used to be hardcore republican but I don’t get those vibes

Melania also twatted out November 7th, 1941.

Here’s a biography on Andrew Jackson: FUCK THAT DUDE HE SUCKED THE END

Quarter pounder with cheese annually, myself. And 20 minutes later, I feel like shit every. Single. Time. Not out of guilt, but because of whatever anti-matter they replaced the actual ‘food’ part of that with. It makes me a little sad, but then again I guess I’m saving money.

My wife gets me in cool events for her work, many of them include A list and B list celebs or athletes. I don’t care what she asks me to do, I spent 6 hours in the sun digging a ditch to spend 15 seconds with Jimmy Carter. I have meet just about every relevant basketball player from the last 30 years except MJ. And I…

“We forgive you!” - The Audience of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

My first inkling that I might be pregnant and not sick from the flu was a sudden intense craving for egg McMuffins. I seriously couldn’t get enough of them.

I like the “McDouble” which is basically a double cheeseburger with only 1 slice of cheese. Somehow it hits peak bread/meat/cheese/pickle/salt ratio for me very well. They’re usually 2 for $2.50 as well, and getting a sack of 2 or 4 late night Saturday is pretty handy. They’re a really good cheapo burger for times…

I get a fillet o’ fish combo about once every financial quarter. Other than that, I steer clear of the golden arches or really any fast food. If I am going to have a burger, I either make it myself or go somewhere that makes a really good burger.

I hope he still has the address of that coal mine.

Yeah, but, our perverts aren’t nearly as perverty. It’s gotta be more like a US citizen/generic middle eastern thug exchange. We get our two students stupidly vacationing in the Gaza Strip back, and you get your 14 terrorists we’ve been torturing at Guantanamo.