“Just the Way You Are”: Because your shitty taste in music should reflect the first dance at your wedding.

Candle in the wind: Documenting the worst online flame wars and trolls about Billy Joel lyrics

Billy Joel is only slightly better than Phil Collins on the “I fucking hate Phil Collins” meter.

¿if your grammar’s on the doc and mine on a gnu, they won’t make waives oar get there sharts in knots if yours says, “chills runned up my spine” and mine says “shivers ranned down mine,” sí?

Same idea. It’s tasteless and you store it in the basement.

“Payed” is not being used in a nautical sense. You should have paid more attention in English class when you were in school, assuming you actually attended.

Speaking of being pedantic, you said “payed attention”. The correct way would be to say, “paid attention”. The issue was not about phonics. It was about you being wrong about the first commenter. Seacrest, out.

Sick of hearing professional athletes brag about their extravagant lifestyles and 18-passenger cars.

The statement was, “Anyone who spells Greg with a third G.”

Gregg has 3 G’s. He never said anything about the G’s being only at the end. You preemied all over the comments and now you won’t admit you fucked up. 2/10 bridges, failtroll.

So like this?

Contrary to what scientists believe, Gen. Westmoreland built the pyramids to store the bodies of dead Viet Cong (including that one guy Jim Webb killed in 1969).

Wait, Bill Clinton wanted your own sister to blow you?

Oh he understands science. The problem is he also understands that he needs the low information vote in order to be elected.

Justin Townes Earle said it best...It’s just become Bon Jovi with a banjo

Kessel is still disappointed about his trade to Pittsburgh.

In the spirit of Lance Berkman’s fight against tolerance: Fuck you, asshole.

I’m not going to be a whistleblower

How often do we say this? They’ll go on an undefeated run of 12-15 games, get everyone’s hopes up and then a devastating injury (injuries?) will ravage the squad and they’ll drop points to a bottom half team and then get shellacked by a top 5 squad and finish fourth.

This is the First Law of Wenger.

It’s a brave man with a short memory who declares Arsenal legit in November.

“You hit the ball with a bat, not a base. They should call it batball. Also...Roundtine.”