Are you Jim Tomsula? This sounds like a Jim Tomsula life-hack.

I love how white men that claim to live in fear of ‘government tyranny’ and believe that it is righteous to rebel against it are the first ones to insist that all black people should strictly obey every police officer like a submissive dog.

But...but...when pizza’s on a bagel you can eat pizza anytime

*Reads article*

As a big fan of Mexican food, I both love Taco Bell and realize it is not at all anything Mexican. Like you can enjoy the artistry of professional boxing and still want to watch two drunk frat boys punch each other unconscious in the parking lot of a Church’s Chicken.

Now he can get back to playing cones of dunshire

I'm waiting by my phone. Any second now. They're gonna call. I can sense it.

Fuck Burger King.

Ban all guns. Make them illegal to posses. Getting caught with one is an automatic jail sentence. This nonsense has gone on for too long. This amendment was authored by people who were okay with slavery. It does not, and should not, translate to 2015 America

Well, what we’re seeing right now, we’re seeing Bible-believing Christians being persecuted for living according to their faith

I coached youth basketball for years, everyone got a participation trophy. It’s not necessarily about making every child feel good (even though that’s a happy side-effect!) but more an appreciation of their willingness to try.

A fucking men. Fuck James Harrison. Hope he gave back his 2005 Super Bowl ring since he had zero tackles in those playoffs.

I want to be the first to say that I appreciate the fit of your tank top, the slight crook of your backwards cap and how awesome it must be to be able to transport so many things in your cargo shorts.

Now we all know what happened to the guys who didn’t make the cut as “Astonished Defensive Player #1” in the Bieber basketball videos.

I think my favorite thing about all the think pieces on Ballers so far is how angry people are getting that the show is actually showing the reality of the NFL, and how, yeah, sometimes it fucking sucks to be young, rich, and wealthy when you have no idea what you’re getting into and what that might potentially mean.

I am 5’5.5. Kit’s eyes are flush with mine although he is leaning slightly. I’d say 5’6 and not a half-inch taller. (P.S. He is a genuine and lovely fellow. Also, he smells really good.)

I met him a few times in Toronto and he was roughly... I want to say 5’5” with brown eyes, smile like the sunrise. But in all seriousness, 5’6” at the very tallest.

Entourage gets a fucking movie but not Deadwood?

I always thought it would be awesome if the fans of Entourage and the fans of Sex and the City could be introduced at the world’s largest Brotastic/Basic Bitch Mixer, and then be shipped off to Wish Fulfillment Island where they could live out their lives as a never-ending cycle of roofies, brunch and credit card debt.

From Your Lips To Cods Ears