“Don’t worry; I’m wearing my L.L. Bean all-weather uterus. It’s lightweight AND protects against the elements! Also made from all-natural materials.”

OMG IS BEING HOT A PREGNANT THING? No one has mentioned this to me, and I sweat through my blanket and pjs every night. I usually wear like 12 shirts an am shivering and I’ve been confused.

I almost wish someone had criticized my food choices during any of my three pregnancies. They would have learned more about hyperemesis gravidarum than they ever wanted to know.

Then I’m gonna fuckin take the trapeze class I’ve been meaning to take

I like her.

My state has arbitrary liquor laws that prevent you from buying alcohol past a certain time. I wanted to get some last night but it was too late, then I realized we had gone back in time an hour. It was a halloween miracle. Daylight savings is okay in my book.

How about on site drop in child care for employees and clients? Like the Smaland at ikea?

A man his age should have known that if you sit like that you’ll attract the wrong sort of attention.

Not all murderers are manspreaders. Some of us know we need to draw the line somewhere.

I think he secretly wanted to get arrested, otherwise he wouldn’t have been sitting like that.

As the fine criminologists that we all are, I believe that Dr. Reid would not be happy with us if we didn’t point out that stabbing someone 24 times is usually done by someone intimate with them. And not in self-defense.

Sorry dude, maybe if you didn’t want to get caught you should have kept your legs shut.

It generally ends in about 18 years when they leave home.

This though! I’ve seen some people say that she shouldn’t have gotten pregnant again if she hated it so much and it like blows my already disarrayed mind, as if people can’t complain about feeling unequivocally shitty without having their basic human rights (to decide when and how many children to have) questioned.

My best friend had a baby 8 months ago and was always saying how much she loved being pregnant. She was the first person (besides my partner) that I told. I mentioned that I really wasn’t enjoying it that much and she told me she actually hated being pregnant but was too afraid to say anything other than she loved it…

It’s perfectly okay to say you hate being pregnant. It sucks, hurts, makes you fart and burp at times you don’t mean to, you get sore and tired from 20 minutes of mild work, you get punched and kicked from inside your body and at the end you are lucky if labor is under eight hours.

God bless Kim K. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Pregnancy was the most miserable, bloated, depressive, back-painful, bladder-killing, sciatica-causing experience and I begged my doctor for a hysterectomy a few hours after delivery. GOD BLESS YOU, KIM. KEEP SPEAKING THE TRUTH.

brb, amending my will to request I be buried in leggings so that you cannot, in fact, pry them from my cold dead hands.

Honestly, you’d think they’d find a less pushy way to find a husband.

I get the impulse to be inclusive (and correct me if I’m wrong) but.. don’t these clubs exist to make business connections?