I hope this is just the intro to some sort of Hunger Games scenario, ESPN’s latest attempt to cut staff and save money.

Let me be the first to congratulate the Vikings and Drew Magary on securing the opportunity to lose a playoff game due to an ill-timed interception instead of a missed field goal. Variety is the spice of life!

Note the forlorn sadness embedded within the Bortles quote. He’s forever distressed that he can’t stomach to share a Lagavulin with dear old dad.

It looks so cool to like sit down and drink Scotch with your dad—that looks awesome.

The Hangover 30 should star Bortles, Gronk and Odell Beckham Jr. Tom Brady can play the needledick friend who gets lost.

Brady probably required gluten-free beer because he’s a sad sack piece of shit.

Brady probably required gluten-free beer because he’s a sad sack piece of shit.

He’s the best cornerback I’ve seen since Joe Montana.

Now all I can think of is a Benjamin Button/Chucky buddy movie.

SEMANTICS. Rich Gannon played his career in reverse.

Looks like George Brett isn’t the only in trouble for greasing up his bat too much.

+1 Cruella de Vil

This comment would have merit if Ohtani didn’t end up choosing to team up with Mike Trout, the most boring athlete on the face of the planet. The guy literally looks at clouds for fun. I am an Angels fan and love Trout as a player, but, god, he is the “watching paint dry” of MLB superstars.

not every cheese gets to be a hero

I agree. It’s perfect for Pizza unless you’re a mutant from St. Louis. Personally, I don’t use it in my Mac. I prefer a mixture of cheddars and gruyere.

(Extremely affected Mario & Luigi racist Italian voice): Thatsa justa because you never havea buffalo mozzarel!

Kobe obviously raped this woman, and you’d have to be a child not to see that.

In early 2016, ESPN’s The Undefeated personality Jemele Hill received a threatening and racially disparaging voicemail from [Chris] Berman on her ESPN phone line.

Don’t you know the best thing you can do if you run into a bear is play brain dead?

Worst episode of Maury ever.