Meanwhile, Josh Jackson was excited to get drafted by Phoenix, so he can enjoy the city’s great selection of McDonald’s cheeseburgers.

Turns out the only ego he can’t manage is his own.

This trade is worth it if only to watch LaVar Ball struggle to decide which racial slur to use to describe Brooke Lopez as he attempts to find a scapegoat when the Lakers are 10 games under .500 in January.

But periods are bloody everywhere.

What are you getting at, Kyle?

Touche. Please consider my cultural outrage calmed (I cannot, however, calm my grammarian outrage brought on by your gratuitous comma splice).

Someone from Venezuela? You see, there’s so many cultures around the world - like at least 10 but maybe more - that have the gall to not completely adhere to American norms and customs. They even have the fucking balls to not name all of their kids John and Steve and Kyle. These motherfuckers don’t even apply white,…

It’s so weird that EA Sports decided to put the entire Mariners lineup on the cover of Madden 18.

There he is, showing off that sick cutter on the throw down to second base.

Why is it called GOAT Edition when Belichick’s nickname for Brady is obviously Gimp?

All he’s done in the 14 games he’s played since then is hit the dick off the ball;

+1 Braeydyn

If Bill Belichick wasn’t his coach, he would’ve been out of the league years ago...wait, what are we talking about?

Not until the story ended did Tom Ley notice the cum seeping through Tim Rohan’s khakis. He had written about Tebow so hard that his jizz dam had burst open, and he’d just kept going. Rohan peeled off the pants. Cum was gushing from his penis.

If you put down artificial turf and hashmarks in the parking lot of any shitty office complex, is James Harrison contractually obligated to show up and grunthump heavy stuff for an hour?

He lived with his mother and little brother, also signed by the Pirates,

He stood and admired the shot for a second, as he should have.

Roger Goodell just suspended him for conduct detrimental to Roger Goodell.

They’re students first and foremost, which is why [insert basketball player here] is only attending this college for 1 year because the professional league he aspires to play in requires it of him.

There were rooms available at a nearby Trump hotel but the new ownership chose not to book there for some reason.