So, if Viper Steele goes into porn does he just use something like Bill Smith as his stage name?

There are a dozen male hotel masseuses out there that also claim John Travolta goes back and forth.

My guess is he’ll break four ribs during pregame warmups when Jerry Jones sneaks up behind him to tickle his belly.

Shoplifting during a competition in which the store is giving you free stuff? The sheer weight of this guy’s balls must make playing football rather difficult.

He tried to introduce the triangle offense in the bedroom but she preferred one on one.

I apologize for this in advance:

I was waiting to get some explanation from Bruce Arians as to why the Cardinals still can’t seem to win a meaningful game and it was all bullshit, like normal.

If the team really wanted to honor its history, they’d change the name back to the Cleveland Naps. I know one guy who wouldn’t mind.

Schilling’s “Red Light Curt” nickname is starting to take on a whole new (Thai-related) meaning.

This is surprising considering Harbaugh usually takes his pointers from elementary school kids.

+1 punctuation

The discussion remained calm because no one wanted Marlins hitting coach Bruce Banner to get angry and turn into Barry Bonds.

Conservatives are lucky the ACC pulled out instead of aborting the Championships altogether.

“I would not, to the best of my ability, I would not sanction somebody taking a knee.”

I thought only Teddy Bridgewater slapped his dinger with his knee.

“Curt Schilling Hot Take Machine” is what I call my son’s diaper when he’s had too much yogurt.

If only Breitbart were around in 2005, we could have seen the headline “QB Trent Dilfer Heroically Remains Silent on Child Slavery”.

During his playing days, Trent Dilfer was the poor man’s Gus Frerotte. Yes, you read that right. He’s made multiple careers out of being the shittier version of something that’s already very shitty. Now Dilfer is the poor man’s Skip Bayless, and that says everything you need to no about him.

An athletic trainer serving as a “spotter” for both teams will be present in the stadium booth with access to multiple views of video and replay in order to aid in the recognition of injury.

As a lifelong Arizonan, I can confidently say:
Arizona is Florida without the humidity.
Arizona is the world’s biggest Trump rally.
Arizona is why we can’t have nice things.
Arizona is where racists go when other racists think they’re too racist.
Arizona is where education is a privilege, not a right.
Arizona is where 85%…