+1 Trump rally

And the Redskins playbook creeps ever closer to realizing its full potential as flaming dumpster fire.

Your backup is Nick Foles, because Kansas City can’t get enough of Philly’s leftovers.

Tebow’s whole celibate persona is bullshit. There is no way you get forearms like that without jerking off.

Rutgers Basketball: We employ some of the best has-beens in the business!

A bunch of rich (mostly white) guys resent a black employee with strong opinions? In America? *gasp*

So much for that third leg of his.

“A $400 vegetable peeler that only works on our $150 ‘beyond organic’ synthetic vegetable molds made from the cells of purebred Tahitian carrots spliced with gold dust and the skin particles recovered from the tomb of Alexander the Great.”

All this time we thought Chip Kelly was a dick, but it turns out he’s a testicle.

The last time Tom Brady stopped fighting and took four, no one would shake Giselle’s hand the next day.

Much like Jesus, Ronaldo also causes virgins to get pregnant.

+1 Erlich Bachman

With the NHL’s desire to avoid fights at all costs, the most appropriate name is the Las Vegas Mayweathers.

Wimpy Donald didn’t have the stuff to make as a major leaguer. Sad.

+1 President Clinton

Apparently, Cleveland didn’t bring enough shoe polish to the table.

If JJ Watt bench presses 400 lbs and no one on Instagram sees it, does it really count as a pump?

+1 Douche vs. Douche

LeBron would leave Cleveland for Chicago if the Bulls offer to cover up his receding hairline.

Dwayne Wade also wants everyone to know that The Departed is a great movie that didn’t receive any preferential treatment from The Academy in 2006 and that Martin Scorsese did a wonderful job directing it even though Devin Harris fouled him a ton of times.