That run on sentence was longer than any of Watkins’ receptions this season.

The Royals are the herpes of baseball. Every time you think they’re gone, they flair back up again.

I thought only fat kids at summer camp wore shirts into the pool.

Baltimore WR Steve Smith is not going to let the officials get away with this: “Two stars. That’s what I’m putting on my Yelp.”

Mallett missed the team’s charter flight to Miami on Saturday, and O’Brien was apparently unconvinced by the quarterback’s “I got stuck in traffic” excuse.

“I don’t have a problem with what Greg Hardy did. I only have a major problem with when he chose to do it.

Percy Harvin has had issues with his hip ever since he told his pelvis that it wasn’t black enough.

Bronson Arroyo is a sentient Affliction t-shirt.

*sniff* I’m not crying. I just a flesh-eating bacterial infection in my eye. *sniff*

A major opponent of Proposition 1 is the Campaign for Houston PAC, a group that produced a campaign commercial in which former Astro Lance Berkman argues that the proposition should be voted down because it would lead to “troubled men who claim to be women” following girls into public bathrooms.

Are there still people out there unaware of cancer?

The Cubs defense was so sloppy it ended up having sex with an overweight Polish sausage vendor in a dirty bathroom stall at Casey Moran’s after the game.

Chuck Pagano “doesn’t regret the play call at all.”

MLB is lucky last night’s Royals-Blue Jays game was a victory for the Jays, because if the Royals had pulled ahead late and Troy Tulowitzki hadn’t been there to bat in the bottom of the ninth, all of Canada would be calling for home plate umpire John Hirschbeck’s head.

That’s only for out of state recruits. When recruiting local talent, Louisville woos them with running water, indoor toilets and newfangled color televisions.

He was actually there to try out for the punter/quarterback tweener position that Chip Kelly posted on Craigslist in the “Man seeking mammals” section just to prove that anything can succeed in this scheme.

Meanwhile, in Toronto a Blue Jays fan is launching an empty beer bottle at a baby’s head BECAUSE THEY WON.

Boris Johnson thought Battle Royale was an instructional video.

I live in Arizona. A state so “they’re taking our jobs” conservative that Lincoln Chafee actually does seem like a Democrat to us. Most Arizonans would probably actually vote for Jim Webb, though, solely based on his “I killed a foreigner” statement until they realized he’s also a gay-loving baby killer.

It looks like the Rangers think Jose Bautista’s attitude is a little too flippant.