The punchline is: Lincoln Chafee is at least as credible as any of these people.

Jim Webb looks like the unfortunate lovechild resulting from a three-way between Ted Kennedy, Tom Berenger and a bobblehead doll.

Following that performance, I am going to guess Shwarber’s balls are getting very popular in Chicago.

Ben Roethlisberger must have slipped something into their drink.

Real Madrid’s Cristiano Ronaldo won Europe’s Golden Shoe yesterday, which recognizes the top scorer across the continent’s top five leagues.

I wonder if Ben Roethlisberger asked the NFL if he can wear Cosby sweaters all year to bring awareness to plight of famous people who sexually assault women.

Texans fans are used to someone taking an upper decker in their stadium.

Now he just needs to teach the rest of the Knicks how to score.

Rumor has it he got stuck inside the Ania Cywinska tunnel.

He’s got a point. Jesus did suffer from chronic rib injuries.

That slider was so good the Marlins just traded him to the Blue Jays.

Andrew Luck is a lot like mid-2000s Kim Kardashian. He’s got too many football players pounding his ass for his own good.

Adrian Peterson’s kids must be out of control right now.

There’s not an intact urinal to be found at Rogers Centre right now.

I didn’t go out, bro. But I would like to thank you and your fraternal brethren. I was able to take many a nice vacation with the money you paid me to copy my notes, homework, tests, etc. Once again, ASU’s high academic standards did wonders for me.

“Finally, now I can listen to rap without being scared.”-white people

That haircut is designed for aerodynamics because if he could just run a 4.20 40, daddy would love him.

Oh, ASU. How I love you so. An educational institution so devoid of any real academic learning that these communication majors are probably on the verge of earning a master’s degree in obsolescence from the School of Contemporary Nothingness. All that’s left to do is write a thesis on “Top 10 Most Boneable QBs in the…

So it turns out Papelbon was just following Williams’ lead. He’s been choking all season.

You can even see Wilbur the pig playing 1st base.