Now when I’m about to enter Virginia, I let out an audible groan.

Wait till you have kids.

The most underrated band of the ‘90s was Poop Towel.

This is exactly why I’ve always considered people’s aversion to “moist” so ridiculous. Thanks for this.

Thank goodness we’re rid of weak Obama and his endless Apology Tours and complete abdication of American Sovereignty. It’s awesome to have a Strong, America-First President who is, uh, just waiting to be told how to proceed and whom to attack by another country.

Well that’s Amy Klobuchar in a nutshell.

Yes, exactly! Automate jobs that are shitty and that lets more people pursue things like acting, being a musician or beer brewing, seeing as how those are generally professions people go into because they want to rather than because they have to work.

Universal basic income. It’s time for the future we were promised. If automation can churn out more and more productivity with less and less workers, why on earth shouldn’t we, as a society, get more leisure time? Let people pursue what they actually like doing without worrying about starving and being homeless. 

We’ll start figuring out that we don’t actually need jobs at all, or at least not all of us do.

and when we automate all of those jobs away, what are those people going to do?  We don’t need 329 million software coders. 

I’m not sure I’d want to see Intergluteal Cleft opening for anyone.

Isn’t a quesalupa an AD&D monster? 

Be like Gallant:

“Critics find her...” is code for a rhetorical construct created by those who fear her very strength. Warren doesn’t lack charisma; to the contrary, she’s got it in abundance, and that’s precisely why this canard is repeated constantly - to convince people that they’re not seeing the very qualities they are seeing.

Why, do the boxes taste better? 

As Orwell (or that band that conservatives liked without listening to the lyrics) correctly noted, who controls the past controls the future; who controls the present controls the past.

What kind of moron would be such a hypocrite, right?

Susan B. Anthony is turning in her grave... in order to get away from the gropey Katy Perry.

Can we all take a minute to acknowledge trailblazer Katy Perry for bisexualizing sexual harrassment? Another civil rights milestone!

“i kissed a girl, she disliked it” probably wouldn’t have been as big a hit