Way too overwrought for my taste.

You mean, Amanda Waller from the Academy Award-winning Suicide Squad?

Okay, let's play her off now . . .

But . . . but . . . what about the poor children?

Hey everyone, let's all aspire to be in the graveyard!

Naomie Harris should win this.

My mom's just happy that I have a job.

BENGHAZI!!!!

Just look at the guy. I'd be scared as shit to deny him anything.

Movies and the people who make them are the real heroes.

The awards you care about should be coming up around the fifth hour or so.

God I miss the Debbie Allen-choreographed dance numbers to the nominated scores from the days of yore.

I know, because we're really only a tenth of the way through the show.

And now OJ Simpson is about to win an Oscar in a roundabout way.

If only John Travolta had had to announce it.

Just a reminder: Singin' in the Rain and Do the Right Thing each got zero Oscars. Suicide Squad has one.

Holy shit. They can actually write "Academy Award Winner" on the DVD cases of Suicide Squad now.

And now for three hours of stuff no one cares about!

It's about time a bunch of people in Hollywood take a moment to applaud for themselves.

Donald Trump is going to sprain both of his thumbs before this night is through.