Um, hard pass.

I'm on my 21st straight year of sucking at golf.

Oh good, the people who create the laugh track for The Big Bang Theory will still have work when that show is over.

Nothing helps a sequel (or sequels) succeed more than a longer amount of time after the original film.

But can I still buy the "Who Farted?" t-shirt at Spencer's Gifts?

I'm writing my own dystopian novel about an authoritarian website that subjugates its faithful readers with a commenting system that holds them in a perpetual, sisyphean cycle of mental torture.

Well, his final approval rating is still 22% higher than the one for the new AV Club commenting system.

Hey AV Club, Congress also wants you to change the comment section back to the way it used to be. So, like, get on that.

You change-a my comment section, I break-a you face.

The appropriate cause ribbon color for Comment Section Change Awareness is mauve. The color is mauve.

AV Club, you messed with the wrong commentariat. Prepare to pay the price.

In the case of The People vs. AV Club in the matter of the new comments section . . . the AV Club is guilty on all counts. Bailiff, take them away!

We're here! We're queer! This new comment format sucks!

Get a rope.

When is the AVClub going to apologize to us for the comments section change?

But who is responsible for the comment board crimes being perpetrated on the thousands of AVClubbers? Who?!

Pitchforks and torches. AVClub offices. Now.

"Uh yes, do you carry "Kazaam" on blu ray?"

It's tomorrow. And then the day after that. And then again the day after that. And then again . . .

He absolutely should have been nominated for "Captain Phillips." That final scene of the film was reason enough.