You still have a few years to go, Drew, but just over the horizon you will have the heartache of adding up things you will never do again because your kids have grown up. My daughter is about to graduate college; we came to the realization not long ago that she will likely never live under our roof again. My son is…

It’s a good thing you’re here to throw cold water on the obviously serious pitch that Dave here was making.  

King Solomon? Dat you?

Please settle a debate: Is Back to the Future a sci-fi movie?

Is it “sike” or “psych”?

Not to be too serious, or too comic-book nerdy, but I think Gamora’s going to come back in a manner reminiscent of Adam Warlock’s return in the comics—the ones before even “Infinity Gauntlet” was written. Warlock was living in the soul gem and came out of it and ended up turning Thanos to stone.

Thor: Ragnorak is the best MCU movie. This is canon.

Why have you put so much thought into this?

“I can’t think of a bad movie the dude made.”

This guy gets it. Better peanut butter flavor too. Fith Avenue is what Butterfinger aspires to be.

FYI, 5th Avenue bars are essentially Butterfingers with better texture.

Golf is okay and yesterday was cool. 

Imagine saying something so confidently and being so wrong.  You should head to a muni course on the weekend some time.

I was watching Ant Man and The Wasp (pretty fun movie!), and at one point Luis drives up to the main characters and goes, “WASSSSSSSSSSUP”. After a beat, when no one responds, he says "You don't remember that beloved commercial? WASSSSSSSSSSSUP". I thought that whole thing was pretty funny

100% thought the Steak Night letter was ending with a no-one-else-home jerk.

The guy who thinks you stop jerking off at 50 is like 18 max right? Man, what a stupid question.

Truman Peyote is like a Deadspin commenter come to life, and frankly, it’s fucking terrifying.

0. Luke Skywalker

Reminder: This is DeadSpin if you pay attention to 85% percent of the articles absolutely nothing makes them happy and everything sucks.

Whoa there....the Mariners...likable?  When did that happen?