Eli is football Jeter? Let me give it a try.

They’re really gonna burninate up the competition this year.

Cannot wait to watch the Seattle Trogdors in action

Shut WYTS down for the year, guys, we’re not gonna top this.

+1 dead horse, beaten

I FEEL LIKE YOUR COMMENT SHOULD HAVE BEEN WRITTEN IN A ZMF STYLE

My man ZMF got engaged. He found love and told the Lions to fuck off out of his life forever.

“Never let them take you to another location” is excellent advice. If someone tries to take you to another location, they’re already committing Kidnapping, which by itself is a felony that will get them sent away for years. Odds of them wanting a living witness: Not good.

not gonna lie, thats fucking beautiful, dennis.

My brother in law is a Jets fan.  Talk about a guy who makes poor life choices. 

“Our quarterback suffered a traumatic brain injury after hosting an awards show in New York City last winter.”

Irish guy loves Boston, hates San Francisco, millions SHOCKED. 

It’s always going to be Boston. Doesn’t matter the sport or the year or how good or bad the team was the previous year. Boston fans will be the most aggrieved.

I also don’t see “cowboy monkey rodeo” which is a very real thing at minor league games.  If they were throwing firecrackers, it would be everything 8-year old me could want.

I’m still not convinced Toronto has an NBA team.

Someone give this man a damn Pulitzer

Dear Penthouse,

No she wouldnt. She’s got a very low opinion of Trump.

That’s what’s truly terrible in this case? Get the entire fuck outta here.