THEY BUT BROCCOLI ON IT!

My shorts were seersucker, but otherwise this is exactly what I wore after work last night. I had no idea I was a Bears stereotype. 

Or is it worse that they’re hyping his time as the University of Delaware’s Fighting Blue Hens QB as a credential for head coach. 

When Trubisky draft trade occured my phone blew up with texts from friends asking me “What the hell is your team was doing?” I responded with my canned answer “If he turns out to be a franchise QB then it’s worth the trade.” I know in my heart that’s not happening. They know in their hearts that is not happening.

I…

Were you eating an overdone hot dog? Because then you have real beef.

The “you’re welcome” was a good punchline. Further, as Drew is a resident Dad Knower he should have included the dad level joke. 

In his defense he was looking for a flag, not a stop sign. 

Those cows lead a great life, with one bad day. 

I thought that was beautiful bit of performance art on the current national condition. I still gagged. 

That is a cow who’s mother fucked a pitbull. 

Are you sure they did? We need Magary family proof of life! Investigate? 

You realize the Cleveland Browns are in Ohio, correct? 

Then I’d have nice things.

To walk to the liquor cabinet?

There is probably a crab out there who maintains I have stolen a few legs.

Jizz! I can’t believe he went there.

How long until he’s appointed Deputy AG for Civil Rights?

THIS! I had to take a coffee break and come back to Fun Bag after calming down. 

You must be new to Wonderland. 

Greco-Roman wrestling has to be a top contender for fart sports.
1) Those guys do terrible things to their GI tract to make weight.
2) Weird positions combined with explosive movement.
3) Their is a tactical advantage to ripping a fart at the right time in a match.