His name is Robert Paulsen. His name is Robert Paulsen. His name is Robert Paulsen *his name is Robert Paulsen!*

I came to make this joke, and possibly somehow shoehorn in Nicholson’s line about how being the most ethical private eye was like being the leper with the most fingers.

Consistently elite.

You can’t, like, OWN Pokemons, dude.

ObscureSimpsonsReference fail Pokemon jargon? But that’s unpossible!

I want to note that Hannah Keyser is far and away my favorite Adequate Person writer. Blows that jabroni Magary out of the water.

The Last Shadow Puppets + Johnny Marr teamed up to cover Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me and it was fab:

Aaron Sorkin would have his characters pacing and digressing and gesticulating so hard that poor Bradley Whitford’s heart would literally explode out of his chest and lodge itself in the crags in Sam Waterson’s face but they’re both such professionals they’d try to finish the scene and pretend nothing was too awfully…

A bold, bold take, my friend.

Time to head to Houston.

I have a hard time keeping track of heart throbs these days—Cooper is the dude who did the movie lionizing the super-racist psycho sniper right? (Did they include the scene in that movie from his book where he claimed to have been sent to New Orleans to snipe looters post Katrina?) And he also did that other war porn…

Speaking as a white dude, I cry a lot too. Why are you neglecting the fact that white guys also cry? This is the worst kind of injustice.

I’m gonna beat that someday, probably by the end of the summer. The game I mean, not this record. I feel like I’m really getting the hang of jumping over the little toadstool guys.

I know this story is like four years old but I want to point out that UAE’s Red Sux zombie fans speak in pitch perfect Tump imitations. “These are good farts. Best farts!” What I am saying is that UAE is clearly some sort of time traveler from the future and ought to be disqualified from this tournament retroactively.…

Sometimes cheap shots are the best shots.

Good work, Melo.

Dickhead judges assume they will never be *punished.* And that’s usually a very safe bet for them.

He was also fond of shouting “White lives matter” out the window of his souped up pickup truck. That said, cops shouldn’t shoot total assholes, either.