Or simply executed by cops as they are apprehended.

I think maybe the only strong feeling I’ve ever had about the Olympics is that the opening ceremonies in Atlanta were the fucking raddest because Clinton was acting like such a goofball the whole time. Dude knew how to have fun—infectious joie de vivre!

That’s where you’re wrong, my friend: The people at the top make GODDAMN FUCKING BOATLOADS OF CASH at the expense of everyone else.

Ballghazi, hands down. Just shows what an immoral den of vipers the NFL has turned into. Patriots are easily the most corrupt organization this side of Chicago politics. Last legit champs were the Superbowl Shuffle era Bears. And you can quote me on that.

I’m so pissed about motodoping. I still remember the headline had something to do with “mechanical doping” in cycling and so I thought it was going to somehow involve cyborgs and nanotech and some William Gibson type shit and then I read the article. More fucking Gawker clickbait headlines. Grrrrrr!

Everyone wants to be a part of Showtime!, baby!

Agreed, though Demons 2 comes pretty close in my book.

Jonathan Richman taught us that Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole*. Pablo Cuevas, on the other hand....

Winners find a way to win, dude.

I dunno. A lot of these dudes seem like basepath cloggers to me.

You’re right. That *is* fucking awesome! <3

omg dude Goose so played for the Cubs. His tenure with the club was the most unforgivable thing that bastard ever did. Worst closer in baseball that season. I remain convinced he was solely responsible for costing Sutcliffe a Cy Young award during an absolutely heroic season of starting pitching for an historically…

Is self-parody covered under Fair Use?

This was proprietary, asshole. We’re iterating like a jillion lawsuits with your name all over them right now. Prepare to get sued into the stone age.

I can’t wait for Fallout Brazil: A beautiful vision of the world that might have been.

Shameful. Shameful, showboaty, bullshit, that’s all this is.

And what is wrong with his shoes, by the way? Are they on the wrong feet? Are they much too small? They look terribly wrong. Uncanny, somehow.

Is it kids? It’d better not be kids. And if it is kids they’d better have short hair and be practicing throwing crisp bounce passes or I’m gonna give ‘em the old whats-for!

I learned it from Tumblr!