Mos def.

Resident Evil 2, in my humble opinion, is one of the best console games of all time.

Why does this star Schumer and not Kate Hudson? Besides C.R.E.A.M.

Who wants to know the ending? I’ll spoil it for you!

Rita Ora is that homeless girl I see on the bus who insists to her friends that they run this town.

Well, none of those sound good.

Yup. Bottom line is that he’s not funny.

Well, the stand up routine is on “Mr. Showbiz” and I was being charitable, apparently, when I said “one of his stand up comedy specials.” Dude’s only got the one.

One of Nick Cannon’s stand up comedy specials features a story about the time he lost his virginity to an under-aged girl who had been serially sexual abused by his friends and then passed on to him. I believe the sex took place at a rec center lock in event in a room full of people. So funny!

Okay, who is playing Darth Vader? Not doing his voice, we know it’s James Earl Jones. Who is inside the costume, and related, who’s in the bacta tank? Is it Hayden Christensen? Is it a CGI model?

THAT’S RIGHT. It’s the complete opposite of Bill’s stupid monologue near the end of Kill Bill Vol. 2. It’s not Clark Kent that’s a mask and a interpretation of what people are like, that’s Bruce Wayne. And yeah, definitely not a new concept.

Oh, Goggins is playing the same character in Tomb Raider that he played in Hateful Eight? Wow. So Tomb Raider is going to feature time travel and multiple dimensions? Fascinating.

Riiiiiiight.

How many Neverending Story sequels have you seen?

Man, this article makes you seem so old and jaded. I mean, sure, the Transformer film franchise is overwrought and tedious, but Jeez, so is this article.

I’ve always wished Bungie would return to making Marathon games after they sold off Halo to Microsoft. Such a cool series of games.

Totes magotes.

Deep breaths, yo.

Okay, that’s 100 recommendations for an okay joke. Is that enough to get me out of the grays? FFS?

This guy, too.