Those three sentences were written at a level that would have been expected of every high school graduate in the country 100 years ago.

I'm just saying, bring lube if you go.

Fun fact: the English verb “bugger,” which means “to have anal sex,” derives from “Bulgar.” A heretical medieval sect named the Cathars called on its members to eschew having children, but did not proscribe sex; this meant lots of anal. The Cathars were most prominent in the borderlands between Hungary and the…

I think everyone who’s remotely intellectually honest knows that “investigate” meant “produce damaging allegations regardless of their basis in fact, or the absence thereof.”

Lemme give you some perspective here. I’m married to a woman who’s half Lithuanian and half Ukrainian. Both of these countries’ populations were subjected to horrifying atrocities by the Soviets in their “Russian Imperialism: New Management, New Logo, Same Great Taste” guise. (My mother-in-law is deaf because of…

Based on their respective histories, I think it’s fair to say that Bill Callahan the critically revered singer-songwriter would do just as good a job coaching the Skins as Bill Callahan the Football Man, if not a better one.

There are levels to it.

Jesus, Chris Tucker was making jokes about the irony of a black man saying “y’all look the same to me” in Rush Hour 2 fucking 18 years ago.

Two words: Cheap. Grace.

White male Cornell alum here, and you’re about 95% correct. The Ivies and most of the elite private universities (Stanford, Northwestern, USC, Tulane, etc.) have always been primarily about social reproduction, to make immature members of the ruling class into somewhat more mature ones; for the universities that were…

I seem to recall Hafþór Björnsson having been somewhat cancelled for domestic violence, so yes, we need a new Very Large Man with a Very Tiny Dog.

I don’t think anyone’s making Boban a bottom, and I don’t think anyone wants to be topped by him.

People have told MBB to stay the fuck away from Drake, right? Right?

Tesla wouldn't have 90% of its problems if Musk would put his fucking phone away and let PR professionals do their jobs.

You know how the old defense for a lot of creepy dudes banging underage teens is, “She looks older?” The opposite could not possibly be more true for Greta. She's 16, but she has the vibe of a precocious 11-year-old. (This in no way diminishes the righteousness of her fury, BTW.) So for this dude to be saying that…

The ranch is near Jackson Hole, though. You think Kanye’s gonna buy property outside of Rawlins or Gillette or something? Pffffffft.

I’ve mentioned this a few times here before, but when the Memphis law firm where my father was an associate was doing its first EEOC survey in 1975 or so and had to list the race of each of the partners and associates, the secretary who was filling it out shouted out to everyone and no one in the secretarial bullpen:…

Nah, 2GRLZ1CP

Oh God please tell me the guy’s other car is TUBGRRL