I'll take the tan, Slider from Top Gun-looking one. Ya'll can figure out the rest.

@wtfox?!: Like ensuring that she never gets taken into custody as a temporary ward of the state by beating up on her father, for example.

I guess you could say his threats backfired on him.

The song itself is generic, and the performance lacks charisma. I don't mind Gwyneth, but this is not her forte.

I'm a fan of Jules Winnfield's euphemism "Holiest of Holies." It might be a lot to live up to, but I haven't had any complaints.

So how big is this ring Angelina is buying for Brad for it to be able to fit seven names AND mystical referential symbols? Does it also summon the black forces of Mordor?

@Fridge Hussy: A Hussy Re: Fridges!: Yes. It's a quick enough read, but also well-written and compelling.

@Dodai Stewart: Exhibit A.

The Kardashian holiday photo looks like a publicity cast shot for an Aaron Spelling drama, naturally.

@Splitskies: I don't mind Caroline as a character on RHONJ, but I would probably strongly dislike her outside the context of the show (as in the case with the clip above). She's lucky they've chosen to portray her controlling bossiness as maternal concern.

@a4ashley: You need to look up Calvin's "Oh, here go hell come" clip. Priceless.

I know Calvin is supposed to be the villain of the show, but I've taken to him. I especially love how he went toe-to-toe with Caroline Manzo, who can be a bit of a bully at times.

When did Matt Damon turn into a banker?

Not gonna lie—if Booboo was around when I was fifteen, I would've totally made him a GeoCities tribute page.

In an Avatar wedding, marital consummation only counts if you do it with your ponytail.

@beautiful_dirty_rich: Guilty as charged. Also, Young Hercules.

People should just stop trying to make holiday ensemble movies, because none of them will ever rock my world as much as Love Actually.

@SomeWonder: The resemblance is uncanny.

What is Jennifer Aniston's angle in all this? These "I miss Brad" headlines crop up way too often for her to be ignoring them, so are she and her publicist playing a "any publicity is good publicity" game?