How did she think she'd pass this off as nonfiction whilst plastering her mug all over the papers and internet? That's pretty laughable in itself.

@hortense: No shit. This is Ronnie Pinsky? Man, I loved that show. I wanted to be best friends with ZZ.

This is a Brady Bunch song!

@Hooplehead: That passage blows my mind, IRA style. I'm not even gonna read the article because...I'm probably too dumb to get her point. Sigh.

@MsDirector: I will definitely use it on a stranger tonight. Maybe in a Sean Connery accent.

I bet he smells like cheap brandy, which may also be the name of his next girlfriend.

I think celeb perfumes are so funny. My new pickup line is going to be, "Damn, girl, you smell just like Halle Berry."

Well, I guess we now know that this shirt is effective, huh?

This reminds me of that one awesome YouTube video where a chola drag queen gets busted for soliciting on the corner and keeps saying, "Excuse my beauty!"

They should have:

Is that a bloomer tube top overall romper? I didn't know it was possible to combine every article of clothing I wore when I was five into one piece.

Who are the Jonas brothers? Their name sounds like they might make buggies for the Amish.

@kitschenette: They are! I watched the interview and they wanted to be in disguises (which is weird because they should've just masked their faces).

Okay, Cameron Diaz looks like she remembered, "Oh, shit, I'm presenting at the Oscars today!" on the way home from running errands. So she changed into the dress she picked up at the dry cleaners in the backseat of her car and rolled up to the Kodak Theater.

Also, what was Hannah Montana doing at the Oscars?

Julie Christie is still incredibly gorgeous. I love her.

I know we're not supposed to be mean about people's physical attributes...but from the neck up, this photo is just cruel baiting.

Five of Spidey's rules about sex totally ruined my Peter Parker/J. Jonah Jameson slash fanfic.

If someone wants to keep her vadge covered but not wear underwear, pubes work. They're natural, free, and far less idiotic-looking than whatever the hell that is.

This is just perpetuating the whole women-as-passive-encouragers stigma behind rape. If she asked for it, she should pay for it, right?