Oh, please. Anyone can find a husband—I want to find someone who will be great in the sack, will not drive me batshit on a daily basis, will talk smack to my mother on my behalf and will give me non-mutant babies if and when I ask for them.

@theladyvanishes: delete the "my." Dammit.

@kellyhelene: In total agreement. Besides, it's not like Hilary Faye and Jesus can teach kids how to restore their virginity once they lose it (contrary to my quasi-popular belief).

I'd like to digress from the "gay or straight" discussion and point out that, in that screenshot, he kind of looks like Mac.

He looks pretty good for his age, but this doesn't change my stance on old balls.

@KathrynwithaY: Between the coat, the Charles Nelson Reilly glasses, and the hairstyle that makes her forehead big enough to fit the entire set of Hollywood Squares, I'd say she's a walking game show herself.

My dad always erred on the side of not saying anything at all when he didn't know what to say, and I hated (and still hate) it.

@psych101: Wanting to be friends was largely egoistic— I wanted to save face by telling myself I wasn't dumb enough to have wasted my valuable time on such a shitty person.

I knew my wish to be friends with my ex was an exercise in futility when he drunkenly called me last month to ask if I'd a) still fuck him if we were both single and b) be in a threesome with his current girlfriend, who likes watching him hatefuck other women.

@hfree: One of my best friends swears by the Diva cup. I think there's a toilet seat hover and a bit of practice involved.

I would love to be able to use tampons, but for some reason I cramp up immediately if I try to use one. Since my period only lasts two or three days, it's not such a big deal to have to use pads; my compulsion to cry about everything is far more annoying.

@jenndavo: My beau's constant examination of her perfection vexes me more.

So here's my nitpick: I was out shopping all day yesterday, and it was windy and freezing and raining. Do they have a magical bubble that shields them from NYC December weather?

Baseball Tonight (when it's in season) is high priority on my TV watching list. I'm down with Sportscenter, too.

@Catmoe: love it-much giggling.

While I enjoy a man in stripes, I'm never a fan when guys go for the Freddy Krueger motif or anything similar to it.

I thought it was Tyra at first,

Fine, you guys got me. I'll go get the HPV vaccine shot.

Wait: so homeless people are exempt from PETA criticism for wearing fur? It's not like they hunted those pelts in Yukon Territory.

@athertonmerriweather: But that's true-it wouldn't have been so bad if her mother hadn't made THAT major eff up.