Reporter: Tom, has Donald ever touched you inappropriately?

If you do a 2nd season at 0-16, they upgrade your brown paper bags to plastic ones.

Hey, we only lost 27-26 in 2013!

Well, let’s narrow it down. Sounds like something a crotchety, old, out-of-touch, power hungry white guy would say. Which team is owned by a crotchety, old, out-of-touch, power hungry white guy?

“Disorder’s for me. Dat one, too.”

Christ guys, are you trying to hand West Virginia and Arkansas to Trump!?

Well, let’s hope the children are OK and everyone else is dead.

I for one salute his pro-Harambe activism.

Now you’re 0-2. Go outside, get some fresh air.

To drop Hitler, that joke needed to be a shit ton funnier.

I feel like they’re allowed if they just kicked a career long FG to win on the road against a team that has historically owned his school.

Yes, because the existence of one just military conflict means all military conflicts must be just!

I remember once thinking that Ryan Tannehill would be good someday. I also remember writing a letter to Santa Claus.

Sure, marijuana abuse is 10 weeks, but if he’d said he was abusing Mary Jane, he’d have seen 2 or 3 weeks, tops.

Or Manti Te’o’s girlfriend. He probably won’t get fined for that.

Yep. Still a damn good in-game analyst though.

Oh, come on. My crippling alcoholism is a fine religion, if you ask me.

Title Nein

If those Trojan players had any sense of shame, they’d all agree to take a huge pay cut.