Tell her you’re taking her to New York to see a show. Women love shows. Take her to see Hoda and Kathie Lee or whatever it is that women watch these days.

“The state bird of XXX is the mosquito” and “If you don’t like the weather in XXX, just wait five minutes and it’ll change!” are said by people in every fucking city on planet earth.

UEFA said the name... refers to the super powers the small boy gained when he found a magic cape, boots and ball.

Appropriate for the venue, actually. After all, Patrick Vieira is French.

I’m ready

I consider myself....somewhat of an environmentalist. But if mosquitos with zika hit the US? Bring back DDT.

I would like to know more.

I feel like they missed the boat on one more: Aqib Talib’s two-handed facemask should’ve been an ejection. That’s a horrifically dangerous play, and the fact that he knew it was only half-the-distance makes it even worse. He knew he could get away with it, so he chose a move that could possibly inflict serious injury…

Your tombstone is under further review. Hopefully it will be finished before you are done being dead.

If the rule expressly forbids assistant coaches from entering the field for any reason other than to attend to injured players, how would that change anything about the Porter incident? As the snippet says, Porter was supposedly attending to Antonio Brown when he quickly pivoted to shit-talking the Bengals and baiting…

My tombstone will read: “Dez caught that ball.”

Furthermore, the rulebook has an entire section devoted to the rules by which the rulebook must be read. Within those rules are rules dictating how the rules in the rulebook within the rulebook must be ruled upon.

Defenses still matter. Didn’t a defense just win the Broncos a Super Bowl? Peyton Manning was essentially a spectator this postseason.

Sherman [burns down established thinking]

All congressman were present for the vote except newly elected Pete Carroll, who decided to pass.

Washington D.C. (Politico): After weeks of debate and a deadlocked Senate President Richard Sherman finally passed his stadium reform bill by having VP Marshawn Lynch cast the deciding vote. “When it came down to what to do it was a no-brainer to have Marshawn carry it across the goal,” the President said afterwards.

Something reasonable but unrealistic (“After a meeting with the commissioners, the NFL has pledged to institute a zero tolerance domestic violence policy with automatic one year suspension and loss of wages”) that they will look terrible when backtracking.

Not that I care about baseball, but if I hacked MLB’s Twitter I’d probably report Derek Jeter (or Mariano Rivera) both admitted longtime PED use, and have subsequently renounced their HOF status. Just to BREAK BRAINS.

For baseball, I would only tweet the losses by the Cardinals, nothing more.

Slice ended up being a joke at the end of his career, but let’s not forget that this guy felt like the Sidd Finch of MMA in the 21st century when he arrived. He got his start through a series of bonkers backyard MMA fights, essentially beating the shit out of all comers on YouTube. The idea that a person like this-…