But he probably will once he finds out that Obama did it and it’s popular.

At 14, I was working on beating the Legend of Zelda.

How are we forgetting Baby Andy Reid? Not on TV or in a movie and doesn’t speak (honestly this works in his favor), but pretty high up there on best baby list. Shout out to Baby Mangini as well.

Why do soda 12-packs come in a 2x6 can box and beer 12-packs seem to always come in 3x4 can boxes? I don’t know if there’s an actual reason but if there isn’t let’s hear some theories.

Re: the brother in-law ordering for the table.

-In my flag football league, I celebrate touchdowns by doing Katy Perry’s Swish Swish dance. Or if it’s a really important touchdown (go-ahead in a playoff game) I just go FUCK YEAH SPIDERMONKEYS!!!! and spike the ball.

His face looks like a mask of what a human face should look like to me. It’s odd. Jenny from the Block, just gets more beautiful and oddly ageless.

Get off the cross, Harvey.

You’re right, there is totally nothing inappropriate about a grown man inviting a 14 year old to a party with alcohol into his bed. Totally normal.

I’d like Mueller to go to Jared.

She refused one million dollars...

Let me guess, they then ran off like the cowards they are.

......as another #WhiteKnuckleFlyer (the booze and Xanex failed again!), this could only work if it’s Florence Henderson in a Carole Brady outfit, crooning “Silent Night” before a ‘70s standing mic........

Only one acceptable pop up concert on a plane.

Two gay guys throwing Kathy Griffin under the bus is so 2017! Allyship runs both ways, you dickheads! Of all the time, money, sweat, effort, and publicity she has given to promoting the health and legal rights of gay people, and this is how she’s treated when some Cheeto Baby-Man gets his fee-fee’s hurt by a…

She’s older than Ted Cruz. Just a weird random fact.

Who’s the “you” here? Me? I’m not mad about that whole Trump thing. I think her apology tour has been one bad decision after another.

I don’t have even the foggiest clue what conditions are best for planting a gummi bear tree.

It happened to me, many a year ago. I was serving an American couple and got to chatting with them, they told me that with my customer service skills and education I could make sooooooo much more money in the States. Which...was nice, I guess? They meant to compliment me? Then they left a shitty tip and went their…