A close family friend is a top, top lobbyist in DC of 35 years and he’s swearing up and down the gossip on both sides of the aisle is impeachment by the end of the year. Apparently the concern is money drying up for the Repubs if Cheetolini continues to be “presented” as both incompetent and corrupt. Who knows, maybe…

My little cousin knows Avery from college and says she’s the most amazing, sweet girl. I loved hearing that, with Ramona as a mother, you know you’re climbing an uphill battle in life.

My parents (who still pay for AOL) moved last year. My dad was insistent they set up their new Charter bundle with 2 separate phone lines, so they could still talk on the phone while using the Internet. They’ve had cable access for over a decade.

I am so glad I live within a very close proximity of a liquor store. I’m thinking I can be the first in line to loot in the aftermath of the apocalypse.

I’m a stylist and retail guru of 15 years and I finally made one rule for clients, friends and family - you have three answers - “yes, no, I’ll try it on.” And you only get 3 no’s. You’re already nekkid in the dressing room, trying on something new isn’t a hassle! Just do it and you may find your perfect style.

Thanks friend! I’m sure it’s literally zero to worry about, but getting flu symptoms in the middle of ground zero measles outbreak makes you just want to bathe in bleach and binge drink!

Minneapolis resident here. Was in Urgent Care for what, I’m praying to God, is the flu. I’m immuno compromised and praying I did not pick this shit up. Fuck this garbage human being, I don’t need to add “measles treatment” to my medical debt.

As someone knee deep in malpractice hell, I cannot give you enough stars.

It was recommended to me by my doctor at the Mayo Clinic to help with depression. But what does a Mayo clinic Doctor know, right?!? Clearly not as much as Sephora chick

Try upping your magnesium and B12 as well. It’s keeping me going thru exhaustion and stress drinking

My sister graduated from Benedictine. There is absolutely a group of students who would love to abolish yoga. The student body is...an...odd...mixture of people.

Banana Republic has amazing ballet flats and low heels I swear by. Comfy on their own, stick in a Dr Scholls for added comfort and you’re good to go.

I was a wee lass back in the OJ days, but after watching some of the documentaries and the FX anniversary series, I came away with the impression that initially Robert Kardashian didn’t think OJ committed the murders but after trial began he realized there was no other answer?

As someone caring for her mentally ill sister and parents (they’re not even elderly, my mother just now refuses to get out of bed and my father wants to be catered to like its the 1950s), I need to forward this on to friends. It’s literally like I’m the single parent of three children and I’m constantly having to…

Omg I’m 50% Dutch! I was born to make these jokes! Who knew?

Raised Catholic, straight and I fucking hate sweets. Now I don’t know what to think about anything! Do I eat Little Debbie’s to ward off the temptation of vagina?! SO CONFUSING!

Dakota County? It’s not so bad. Highly recommend the pizza at Ole Piper and one of the few places that deliver!

Humira buddy here too! Thank you so much for your kind words. I had an awful flare up this week and had to call in to work twice. Currently hating my life and disappointing everyone. Good to know there’s people out there that get it. Many good vibes for your intestines as well!

Thank you! We shall see what happens! For now it’s charcoal undies, a good B12 cocktail, Humira and laughing at how funny constant poop jokes are.