We really shad not engage in this kind of behavior.

Listen! Carl's Jr. burgers are out there, and they can't be bargained with, they can't be reasoned with, they don't feel pity or remorse or fear. And they absolutely will not stop, ever…until you're dead.

I loved the ending of Hell or High Water, but the opening was one of my favorites as well. Probably one of the few times this year where I've found myself actually physically leaning forward in my seat because I'm interested in how this is going to turn out. Also, every instance in that film of showing the modern…

If he likes it, I assume that Donnie Yen and Jiang Wen are playing horrible ethnic stereotypes on par with Mickey Rooney in Breakfast at Tiffany's.

You Moff diving sonufa gun, you!

Almost as incompetent as devoting your precious time to being a deliberately obtuse jagoff, endlessly spouting off about how godamn pointless everything is at the AV Club

If Mike Pence was disembowled and hollowed out like a mummy, and then had the conscience of a reasonable and compassionate person somehow transferred into the husk of his body, he would definitely have a shot at playing the 'generic white President' on a future season of 24.

It's good to know that in between not studying up on the various intricacies of US domestic and foreign policy and, like, the roles and responsibilities of the Preisdency, this fucking jamoke finds the time to watch SNL. Nuke this orange dipshit from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

Damn. I was really hoping for the inauguration to take on a Heavy Metal Parking Lot vibe.

Dikachu, please. Mike Pence enjoys all the meats of our cultural stew!

The fanny-pack gets all the publicity, but I'm really partial to the chunky turtleneck and gold rope chain combo as a symbol of pure sexiness.

Uh-oh, two independent thought alarms in one day? The commenters are overstimulated. Barsanti, remove all Times New Roman typeface from the articles.

Yes, but I would also like to start pronouncing it like Jeff Bridges in True Grit—"La-Beef."

I think my favorite part of the first and third movies is the completely non descript setting. The audience is so used to horror movies being set in the woods, or a creepy Victorian murder house, having a haunting take place in a random San Diego mcmansion is almost scarier. It feels like a place that should be safe…

This tragedy could have been avoided if Janet Reno had dispatched Coach Taylor to talk some sense into that young man.

This sequel will shift from physical comedy to having the moms engage in hilarious behaviors such as a lifetime of emotional neglect and passive aggressive comments about the physical appearance and lifestyle choices of their children.

I have a tea story from this morning. There were a couple of British tourists in front of me at the local hip coffeeshop who saw tea on the menu and assumed they could get some standard breakfast tea. It took the barista quite a while to explain to them that in fancy, hipsterish coffeeshops, 'tea' means organic green…

You are hearing me talk.

*Luke shakes his head and makes a perturbed face at Ryan Gosling*

Remember when we had Iraqi citizens dip their fingers in purple ink during the first democratic elections in 2005? We could do the same thing here, just with semen, to prove we've voted for Hillary Clinton in Madonna's presence.