I know it's terrible, but I cannot condone the Cubs winning the World Series. It just seems necessary to have a team that has an epic drought of championships…like, that's part of the charm of baseball. And besides, we already have obnoxious winners (Yankees), winners who's old status as second-fiddle losers makes…

Look, I don't think that guy should be President…but I'm not opposed to him having some kind of role at the White House, like a Sam Seaborn-type position.

These fucks do not deserve Yellowstone or the Grand Tetons. Ship them to the Texas panhandle or western Oklahoma where there isn't jackshit to do besides hang out on Reddit anyway…

You were the chosen one, Anakin! It was your density!…I mean, your destiny!

Dammit, Frank! You're supposed to make the third comment. It's a delicate ecosystem here.

You can't treat the craft beer brewer this way! One of these days we'll form a union and brew the affordable and delicious beers we deserve! Then we'll go too far, become corrupt and brew bitter quadruple IPAs, and the Japanese will eat us alive!

Hershey's Dark Chocolate Bites mixed with York Peppermint Peppermint Minis. Just…trust me on this. It's delicious and invigorating.

Woah, hey, upper middle class white people with excessive ennui find marriage boring and tedious and can't make these relationships work unlike pretty much the rest of the world, huh? Welp, see ya' later!

NAWT NEARLY ENOUGH DUNKS REFERENCES, BUT STILL A FAHKIN GOOD EPISODE, KID. WAITIN' 28 FAHKIN YEARS ALLOWS US TO FAHKIN BRAG ABOUT OUR EPISODE WHILE STILL CLAIMING TO BE SECOND FAHKIN FIDDLE TO NEW YAWK. BRADY GAWT FAHKIN RAWBED OF HIS SEASON BY GOODELL, BRO!

Well, there is the UN, and then there is the Soros-funded, election-rigging 'Shadow UN'. The problem is, it's a human resources nightmare to transfer personnel back and forth between the two, end the normal UN ends up looking bad.

People who claim to love Alien and scoff at Aliens are the insufferable inspiration for Martin Starr's character in Party Down…

As far as I can tell, it is a somber reminder that, "Wu Tang is for the children," posted on the one year anniversary of Old Dirty Bastard's tragic death. That, and quite a few paragraph-long updates from other people on how their first semester of college was going. Now I'm curious as to what my first A.V. Club…

"Emperor Palpatine, we've run into a problem. The space-Nielsen ratings from the last Death Star test are the lowest ever."

You mean the dastardly English have seized Nieuw Amsterdam from Mr. Stuyvesant and the East India Company!?

That's a relief. For a second I was worried I would have to watch an entirely new show with a premise and/or characters I wasn't already familiar with. Thank God for the occasional remake as a respite from all of this original programming.

"Hey Chabon, wanna trade belts?"

I don't agree with his jabroni policy, but I do like his candy ass policy…

It's not just nostalgia, it's the rewriting of the history from that time to reflect the more conservative, everyman persona. The protagonist isn't just a stand in for Boomers, he's a stand in for the silent majority. Pretty much everyone Jenny knows—except that completely over-the-top SDS caricature Wesley—remains…

You keep using this word—jabroni—and it's totally awesome.

Hate Cloud City/It's windy and damp
And all the people/dressed like Lobot
Let's leave Hoth Base/To the Wampas
That planet's a little too rugged/For you and me, Jedi girl…