Scrawler this is, uh, this is never easy to say. I'm gonna have to saw your elf's arm off.

Next month. Don't blame me, blame the union for getting a crappy HMO.

Lousy scienticians haven't even turned those gravitational waves into time machines yet!

More H. Jon Benjamin? Treat yo self.

"You're not the only alien hunter here in this expedition. I happen to be doing a little training myself, doing a lot of running, cycling, swimming…well, you know all about that."

Yes!

*Stands outside NonUnionMexicanEquivalent's door, holding up posters describing why Love Actually is a terrible movie*

A couple of spoonfuls of strong brandy and an hour of leeching will cure all ailments.

I had a very lucid nightmare last night that I had forgotten to submit my grad school applications. Now I'm going to be in a paranoid funk all morning.

Depending on the size of the hole, you could be able to mend the pants with a small sewing kit.

The latest episodes of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, the highlight of which has definitely been Paula and her husband relaying the theme song to each other as dialogue.

But if you moved to Arizona you could start to dress and act like Nic Cage in Raising Arizona, which would be a good thing.

I don't think the original poster is under any obligation to become a mentor of any sorts, but people learn best from someone they have a relationship with. Just cutting off contact does nothing to does nothing to inform or influence, and getting yelled at on the internet by a stranger will likewise to little to…

I'm a little (Okay, a lotta') ashamed to admit that a few years ago I may not have had a problem with that story. But, starting with having read Missoula, I think that what he did to you was really fouled up. Yes, that is a big red flag. It doesn't mean that it isn't something he can recover from, but it is something…

I don't necessarily want to go back to old relationships, but I do have the kind of troublesome tendency to try and recreate certain relationship tropes…perhaps that's a way of carrying certain aspects of a past relationship into each current one.

If I ever start acting like Ted Mosby…please just take me out behind the barn and end it neatly.

Having had a Mormon roommate in college, I can assure you that there are plenty of people who go from, 'I've never seen a vagina or considered how those doohickies work' to 'Let's make a metric fuck-ton of babies' real quick…

Being that it is that weekend, I thought I would pose a question to the commentariat. How do you handle this date when you are in that in-between, not really dating but definitely hooking up phase? I'll expand that to someone you are talking to but haven't rounded home plate with yet. Do you just skip out for a few…

Upvoted in solidarity of having wound up in one of those weird 'end-of-the-line' subway stations with no idea as to what is going on.

So you want a realistic, down to earth Nikki Glaser…that's completely off the wall and swarming with magic robots?