Thanks, Oboema!

Hosting a late-night show, how hard can it bee…zzz?

Dig up, stupid!

BEES?!

You missed the perfect opportunity to troll us all by describing this amazing burger you'd just eaten.

Based on how much I've been getting taken to Sizzler recently, I must be doing something wrong…

Scoobie Doo can doo-doo, but Dubya will love ya.

I live in Washington State, where buildings do not have air conditioning. To remedy this, my solution has been to crack open my windows and create some cross breeze (I'm in a corner apartment). The unintended consequence is that in the summer this breeze is constantly opening and closing my doors, and I end up living…

I have some pretty specific odd fears related to sleeping. Having the bedroom door open freaks me out, and I always have to sleep facing the doorway—I can't have my back turned or an open door lest the aliens/poltergeists/serial killers attack me. I also like to have some white noise when I'm sleeping or alone, as…

A Joe with a persecution complex who thinks he knows better than everyone else? I'm shocked.

This lack of puns will not stand, man!

A box of hornets is a Charlie Kelly-certified revenge method.

So one of those Tinfoil Council creeps got to you too, huh!

I made some lentil soup. That may sound pretty boring, but I was using a recipe given to me as a Christmas gift by the owner of a now closed French restaurant, so this was some pretty swank lentil soup.

I'm reading The Sympathizer, and it's really good. Everyone go out and buy a copy of it.

I'll admit I am biased based off of a personal interaction, but I always feel like Ethan Hawke takes a lot of flack because he is just an unabashedly earnest actor, and that just seems to trigger a negative reaction in a lot of people. Yes, he can act wax poetic about his craaafffftttt!, yes he can insist on…

Oy, With the dying and the explosions! These aliens have me running around like a real schmendrick putz!

Those people would be a lot better served trying to find new artists to elevate rather than focus solely on tearing down old ones.

As soon as we nail Disqus, my ole' lady and I are gonna sail round the world, like we always wanted.

Unfortunately, he lives in First Order space. We'll be looking at another Clock Kid situation here shortly, complete with a visit to Supreme Leader Snoke's chambers.