This is sounding like Red Dwarf’s cat race that was born from Lister’s pregnant cat, multiplied and evolved for three million years, and nearly wiped itself out over a war about the color of a hat dispute.

You don’t need to see the other two to follow the (nonsensical) plot, but they are a must if you want to feel underwhelmed.

So Chris Latta was probably the reason  Cobra Commander* was in that episode of Transformers.

You just got put on every watch list known to man. YOU KNOW TOO MUCH.

Facts: Touch and Dare by Stan Bush for this movie may be the two greatest songs made for any film in history. Fight me over this. I will end your world like Unicron.

I first realized I’m old when I heard sincere, excitable teenage girls talking about ‘shipping’ and I thought to myself “that word is stupid as fuck...”

“Baloney in our slacks” line still works.

That woman painted as Pikachu is maybe the darkest thing I’ve ever seen. It’s like, the void embodied as a person.

Because movie audiences are less inclined to hunt down the f*cking hair and makeup people and bombard them with death threats when they don’t like what the director did in a scene, for one thing.

For someone playing the “let people enjoy things” card you seem to love arguing about stupid shit.

True story: Back when I was... gods, I don’t remember how old, I was a kid. I loved Beast Wars, it was one of my favorite shows on tv at the time. I remember going into Blockbuster while my mother was grocery shopping and seeing the N64 copy of that fighting game and I just HAD to rent it. Of course, I had no money on…

Yea, while I agree, that whole “That’s not a real job!” statement is some shit I always can’t rock with.

“WAS HAVING SEXUAL INTERCOURSE WITH BOYFRIEND WHEN HE PUT PHONE AND MONEY IN VAGINA”

Laugh now, but this guy is eventually gonna figure out a way to have sex with those girls on PornHub, and we’ll be calling him the Thomas Edison of the 21st century.

“SWALLOWED A PEN BECAUSE NO ONE PAID ATTENTION TO HIM”

Excuse me, there’s no argument. Speed 3 for the win. Always.