…"a microcosm of Southern California teen life in 1962. " Ahem. Modesto is in *Northern* California.

"Dante’s Inferno is a first year seminary student on PCP barreling through a county-fair haunted house" /slow clap

"How'd you get into Oxford, Kong? You're not even dressed right."

There's a horse waiting for you outside you'll want to get on before somebody murders you who gives a fuck about right and wrong- or I do.

It's Mr. Quinlin, from the books, who is (spoiler) a very Blade-like character.

But replaced with Billy Zane Scalp(tm) so it all comes full circle.

I hadn't kept up with the box office. Less than $90m by August? I had no idea T:G was bombing like Hiroshima (what, too soon?).

It doesn't matter: THEY'VE ALREADY GOT A 2017 RELEASE DATE FOR THE SEQUEL! [It's a cook book! It's a cook book!]

Never saw the movie; do I need to watch it before I watch this series?

If you think that's too on the nose you're going to hate the adaptation of Book 3…

I would kill for a Del Toro written/directed movie about Luchadors.

"That's *my* role!" - Sam Worthington/Jai Courtney/Ryan Reynolds

Pretty sure Pixels just murdered Chris Columbus' career so everyone's safe.

Not that Cait needs defending, but I'd like to point out that Kris Jenner has nothing to do with this show. She's not a producer and isn't involved in production in any way. From what I understand, Cait wanted to do this without her famous ex-wife. Her kids, of course, are free to guest star under the aegis of their…

I escaped that town a decade ago. Nice to see it hasn't changed…at all…

The actor playing Vaun is also listed as playing Quinlan…so all vampires will sound the same? And in the books, didn't the other Ancients stay in their respective cities?

I wondered how they'd pad the script to make up for how short the books are and here's the answer: They're pulling a Game of Thrones. None of what's happening here occurred in the books, and if they really killed Quinlin then they're going to have to rewrite the entire third novel from scratch (which, honestly, isn't…

BAZINGA!

He already tried that with Punch Drunk Love…then right back to Grown Ups.

If it wasn't for that slap we wouldn't have gotten Captain America to beat the hell out of him in The Ultimates (the comic that most resembles the MCU Avengers).