You can just say beer.

Plus that’s a great song.

Last year was bizaaro year for sure. Losing to the Lions, Jags and Titans? Then beating KC in their own barn, a place where they’ve literally never played well? Strange indeed. The Miami Miracle was bizarre but I’ve long since accepted that weird shit happens to them in Miami and it turned out not to matter a whit.

I miss the days when the Patriots were irrelevant and a Red Sox late season swoon was what angered up the locals.

+1 Bobby Sue

But don’t forget, kids, universal health care is just a step away from abolishing private property and putting everyone in Alaskan gulags.

take your star, dammit.

No, because many states have laws where a temp employee cannot be hired out to a company indefinitely. Eventually the company has to hire the temp full time.

Hey, uh, losing multiple billions isn’t the same as earning them.

It’s pretty funny that a red state’s spending doesn’t pique the interest of their taxpayers, since that’s what they proclaim to be against.  

How on earth does a company losing this much money justify buying a brand new office to literally anyone with more than 6 functioning brain cells? The investors in this company are shit-for-brains.

Uber Rides was a little taxi firm down in Texas

RS7 Sportback. Couldn’t be clearer. Audi seems to be the only one that still has respect for nomenclature.

It seems clear to me that they were going to get the snake drunk, hit it with the uranium, then have it bite them, in an attempt at taking on some pit viper superpowers. Heat vision, venomous bite, rattly ass... Any and all were welcome! And they would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for those meddling…

Sounds like part of the sub-plot in Kill Bill .... 

Looks like Florida Man needs to step up his game today.

I hope everyone commits this sound to memory. When you hear this in the future, get the hell off the sidewalk and hide behind a big tree.

Uber/Lyft are now a public companies.

The thing I enjoy about Stewart in this entire situation is that I have no doubt he’s genuine. His jokes about McConnell looking like a turtle may seem like going for the easy joke, but you can tell he has seething contempt for him. The only other time I saw him visibly despise someone in this way was when he roasted…