Ha!

Whenever I vote in local elections, I pick whoever has the funniest name. School board doesn't affect me, town council doesn't ever do much, no way am I going to research who the best judges/coroners/comptrollers are, and most of them run unopposed anyway, etc.

Reminds me of the Office (click to expand)

Huh? No, it doesn't.

No. I'm not voting this year. I don't live in a battleground state, so it literally does not make one iota of difference who I vote for, or whether I vote at all. Last presidential election I waited 2 hours in line to vote. It was an enormous waste of time. I can't wait till the election is over and the wall-to-wall…

Yes, let's make a generalization about 500 million people.

I want that guitar app.

OR YOUR MOM IS A LOSER OOH BURN

Or SunSpider really doesn't translate to real world performance, and this article is meaningless.

Enter lots of contests and sweepstakes, especially if they are hard to enter or not very many people would be expected to enter them. Widely-sponsored sweepstakes like a "chance to win $10,000 by filling out a survey about your Taco Bell experience" are a waste of time, because tens of thousands, if not millions, of…

World's Worst Substitute Teachers

Didn't the iPhone 4 lag behind competitors at the time it was released, and all the iPhone apologists explained that SunSpider doesn't really have any meaning and that it was all about real world experience?

AT&T: More 4G LTE coverage than every other provider combined.*

You're still on contract but want to upgrade.

Hey, at least I can see gifs at work, unlike every video they post.

Way to do Indiana proud, guys. Wait a sec... New Jersey? Nevermind.

Coming soon, the S Dog. Just like the iDog but you put it on a bigger bun.

The joke is pointing out the irony in the iPhone fanboy argument, espoused by many for years, that said that 3.5 is the ideal ergonomic screen size, Steve Jobs wanted it to stay that way forever, and all bigger phones are ridiculous, can't fit in your pants, can't possibly reach the corners with your thumbs, etc.

I have adsense on a site I run, and I only get paid when people actually click on the ads. I don't know if advertisers have to pay for clickless ad impressions also, but if they do I'm sure it's nominal compared to what they pay for clicks.

So some of the bullet points in that first one are legit advantages, particularly the number and quality of apps is just better on iOS compared to Android. That's a fact. But I guarantee Google Maps is better than Apple's new maps, for one thing. Most of the other features are just fluff that few people use or care…