I was so tempted.

Really failed opportunity for pan-Deadspin memetic synergy with the “had literally no pages” thing.

If people would stop saying it doesn’t matter who’s president, maybe he wouldn’t have so many wounded soldiers to paint.

Required Miller’s Crossing Quote Until I See You Post It:

I’ll see you soon on Morning Joe, and on the op-ed page of the New York Times

Don’t blame me! I committed fraud and voted for Hillary 20 times. I did MY part.

As a Muslim American who spent the night consoling friends and family members, please, do not be jaded. As ridiculous as that sounds, it’s literally my only request. Because jadedness lends itself to apathy, and if there were ever a time to actually care about anything, it’s now, facing a clown president and a fascist…

The people in Germany were pissed off because of the way they were treated after World War I. That is why they elected a chaos candidate.

We’re on to 2020.

The alleged gunman was quoted as saying “I’ve made a huge tiny mistake.”

Hola, amigos. I know it’s been a long time since I’ve rapped at ya, but your old buddy Jim’s been knee-deep in a river of blue shit lately.

Did neither of you think to ask Alexa how tall Barbara Bush is?

Eighteen years—as successful, powerful, and undeniably brilliant female athletes - taught us that.

Pulp Fiction and Jackie Brown are the only two that have aged well. I’m not a fan personally but I get the love for dogs. The issue is that everyone thought Kill Bill was a diversion, a side path. Instead it became the defining point of his career, going from the guy who wrote natural born killers and true romance to…

Knoblauch used to flash that same smile throwing to first, knowing he was making some lucky fan’s day with a free souvenir.

Are we just gonna ignore the Anchorman quote?

Also, they seldom go by three names. It’s a media convention to distinguish all the John Does from killer John Richard Doe.

Better headline.

I’m starring you because it takes a mensch to both cop to a mistake and also leave it up. This is also my strategy. You’re a good internet message board citizen.

FYI: CBS Shows Are Not Real