I just completed my donation. The Rowan County Clerk will be getting an e-card that tells her I’m donating because I fear her homophobic hate spewing will cause increased calls to the crisis line. I got to preview the e-card and everything. Yay!!

Twitter loves this shit, and I love Twitter. <3

We history geeks from io9 make our way too deadspin too :P

Do they mean “Kenyan” as in “Swahili”? Because according to good old (FUCKING FREE, EASY TO FIND) Google Translate, black power = nguvu nyeusi.

I made some changes to the “lion killer dentist” costume.

Maybe your dog was put off by the audio synching, where the intro guy seems to have been dubbed into English from a foreign language. Godzilla movies from the 1950s had better lip-synching.

What I hate is how the issue gets confused with mental health. I work in mental health. We don’t perform magic. One of the most important things we do is risk management. If someone is suicidal, take away the guns and knives and ropes and pills, ect. We’re not going to magically fix people who are homicidal but it…

I’m glad this was posted on here separately from the Gawker article, because I just can’t wade into the comments there are something like this.

She’s God, right?

Faster than a dine-and-dasher! More powerful than a monogrammed thermos salesman! Able to leap 100 burgers at a single bound. Look! Zipping through the drive-through! It’s free fries! It’s free booze! It’s CUSTOMER PUNISHER!!!

Easy for him to say, he doesn’t have any last names.

Sadly they stopped publishing the print edition of Jane’s Fighting Douches in 2005 when it went online and behind a paywall. I mean I can see why, the last edition ran to 20 volumes and they still had to publish 4 supplements that year to cover all the new developments in douchebaggery.

Please keep this sensitive information to yourself and remind your operative “pet”to destroy the copy as soon as it has been read. If team dog gets wise they may double efforts on their “Large Canine Collider”, and no one wants that.

Agent random cat Bubba is clearly just “chillin” as you say. Bubba is in no way attending classes in order to learn precious human secrets about things like thermodynamics and nuclear fusion in order to construct a power plant for team cat hq. Because that would be totally ridiculous and completely unbelievable.

Future “Behind Closed Ovens” posts:

This is a really good idea. I feel that the Jezebel commentariat would be uniquely qualified, as a group of women who are progressive, sex positive, and pro-pizza and beer. We’re all the best girlfriends, basically, so our advice is legit.

Manager: “Did you get their order right this time?”

Right? Actually now that I think of it, it happened twice this past week. On Sunday he was mowing the lawn and I was making lunch so I offered and he said no. And then on Monday I made grilled cheese for the kids and he unexpectedly popped in on his way to a mill and turned down grilled cheese. Grilled effing cheese!…

You can take the word tower out of there and it is still right.