By the time I was in kindergarten I had already found out from a friend who had deduced it on his own, which my parents confirmed but maintained God was real, despite my skepticism. I remember in class some kid was spilling the beans and afterwards I was making the rounds reassuring the most shocked looking kids that…

You would have been the cool aunt in my eyes. Although I'm a nerd. My library card was my treasured item as a child.

Good point re: marketing, etc. "Oh you only got an iPhone 4? My Mom got me an iPhone 5S." To some extent, this has always been around. But, damn, things are way pricier now. I still get books for my nieces and nephews, so I'm sure I'm the lame aunt.

"Ah cool, Tim Burton is back on the market!" said nobody worth knowing, ever

My aunt's family likes to get racist about Middle Eastern people. I like to point out on the map exactly where Jesus was from.

I got divorced from my inlaws, so it's not a problem for me, but my kid is in middle school and becoming interested in social justice issues- like painfully and intensely concerned. I've already let him know that the thing to do when anyone in his extended family brings up race, gender, politics, or religion, is to…

Thank you so much for misspelling "you're" in the first two words of your comment. It really allowed me time to brace for the rest of the stupid that proceeded it.

So when people like this break up does the emotional strain really get to them and they start looking, like, really put together and neat?

When the Vandals sacked Rome, I think the average Roman was fine with it at that point.

+1

I CANNOT EVER REMEMBER HER REAL NAME BECAUSE I ALWAYS THINK OF THIS INFURIATING COCK-UP. Why??? Why did he say this??

Shit. He found us out! All women are part of some massive conspiracy to ruin some random college guy's life. We hold a lottery every week to determine our latest victim and activate the feminist terror cell nearest his location.

Hey Paul, all we want you to do is stop raping people. Just like stop raping. The end game is you not raping anyone and if we're lucky you pay for the crimes you already committed. td:dr, Cool it on raping people bro.

I was going to share my "stupid food as a gift" story, but you just blew me out of the water. Like, I feel like I owe you a beer or something, because you deserve something. And that something shouldn't be Velveeta.

Thank you, and everyone for your kind comments. Living through it and coming out on the other side when I was mired so deep and could see no way out has brought strength and clarity. Thank you to all the Jezzies who've unknowingly helped me along my daily journey. Years later, I'm making sure I'm better every day,…

prince harry doing good work makes me want to think about his butt even more than i normally do, tbh.

I will always have a soft spot for gingers and men playing with babies so really this is just like looking at porn at work for me right now.

Team Cat Headquarters here,

the cat is the racist uncle lol