The real crime would be putting a front license plate on that car.   

2 Cylinders, 1 Block

That only makes it worse.

It’s his own fault. If he lived in the US, he wouldn’t have had health insurance so he couldn’t have had surgery. Problem solved.

I’ma thrown my star achoo.

That snot real.

Seriously. Who among us hasn’t gotten tapped on the head when we’ve gone down in the box?

Old timer here. Did I ever tell you youngsters about the one year in the Federal League when they allowed runners to circle the bases as many times as they could. To counteract this they allowed the outfielders to ride horses. Well one day wouldn’t you know it old Cap Anson hits a line drive right into a horse’s…

Not the first time someone fucked up at the US Open.

Waiter: Would you like some pepper, Mr. West?

A rich white lady with thin skin? Man, I believe it when I see it.

Pfft, baseball injuries. I was playing soccer the other week when some light contact from an opponent caused me to drop to the floor grasping my face. Despite the possibly-career-threatening seriousness of my injuries I was still able to roll around quite a lot and after less than five minutes of treatment I was able…

Front loading washer.

Booooo.

Getting hit in the face with a hot dog is the wurst.

this was the Studio 54 principle at play

You’d think the Tigers of all people would know if you need to take a Goose out of the park, you call on Lance Parrish or Kirk Gibson.

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

I often see white parents with obviously adopted black children, I’d call the police but they’d probably arrest the kids.