And woe be it to the first victim who has to explain to their insurance company how a thief managed to break the formerly “unbreakable” anti theft system in their car.

I have that on my phone, and I don't remember handing over my fingerprints to Verizon Wireless. 

And booby traps.

I just drive something that nobody wants to steal. 

Or had your locks freeze because you live in the Northeast and have no other way of getting in your car. 

It does keep you from scratching the shit out of your door with the key. Still, I’d opt for a proximity sensor system, where you have to be right there to get in your car, and physically put the card or whatever in a slot on the dashboard to start the car. You know, like a key.

+1 Fopish little brother who insists he’s not gay.

Those neon green uniforms should be banned by the league. 

Ours are weird. The not-fat one is the one who does most of the eating. The fat one will eat a few bites, go off awhile, then come back after the not-fat one is finshed.

I doubt slapping a Jesus fish on one's bigotry makes it any more godly.

The word is "gay." Go troll somewhere else. 

Again with the judging! We used to take a weekly trip to McDonald's because there was a ball pit inside, and we could have a Royale with cheese in peace for an hour while the kid amused himself. That doesn't mean we endorsed McDonald's or any of its baggage. It just meant getting the hell out of the house on a Friday…

When you have kids, your budget shrinks, and your schedule grows. You have neither the time nor the money nor the inclination (that is, energy) you once had to consult the Big Book of Consciousness Boycotts before venturing forth on a mission that involves money. I dislike Walmart, its business practices, and its…

That's as long as a bus. That's why the bed was shortened, so suburban non-truck-needers can still drive it around the neighborhood. 

And watch the Fast and Furious idiots in the riced Hyundais who think they can do 85 in rush hour traffic. They’ll come right up to your bumper and make you guess which side they’re going to pass you.

One thing you give up for an extra set of doors is carrying capacity. The bed goes from something that will hold 4x8 sheets of plywood to something that requires tie downs and a flag because at least two feet will stick out the end past the tailgate. 

I guess lots of people need to blow upwards of $45K on a vehicle, too. Trucks are ridiculously expensive now. I remember in the 80s, I could get a compact pickup for six grand. Cheaper than a car, and way more fun. Those times are over.

The Second gen Cavalier wss just as bad. I mean, why did GM even bother facelifting it? I got assigned to Fort Drum, N.Y., in 1993. I would routinely sed 1990 and 1991 Cavaliers with rusted out trunk lids rolling down I-81. I know NYSDOT pours tons and tons of salt on the roads, but this was just too much. Even a…

A guy i used to work with got a great deal on one during the Great Recession. 

Sedan-trucks in general. Is it a work vehicle or a family car? And why, if I needed a truck, should I have to get a crew cab that i don’t need because it’s the only kind on the lot?