Honestly, the fairest comparison I can think of is Dolores Umbridge.

WHY IS THIS A THING? STOP POLITICKING PUBLIC HEALTH EMERGENCIES.

This is what happens when people think just electing the president is enough. You end up with Ryan and McConnell holding pregnant women currently or in danger of contracting Zika hostage to get to defund Planned Parenthood.

The only thing better than this article are the mansplainy comments. #blessyourheart

THIS! The Great British Sewing Bee has a made-to-measure challenge each week, and the sewers must create a garment that is perfectly fitted to their model. It’s not simply that they have to design (many of them are using prefab patterns), but that they have to understand the relationship between pattern and the human…

you just put on a “i am an acquaintance rapist” sign: you know that, right?

Nicholas Sparks is at this very moment bringing a lawsuit against the wedding planner for intellectual property infringement, claiming this was “future” intellectual property.

Honestly, I’m a vegan just to balance out the extreme factory farm diet. Also because it has personally been great for my health and makes my skin look fantastic.

Oh please do tell us how we’re misjudging the poor polygamous pedophiles.

It continues to amuse/irritate me to no end that these people - white, conservative, religious - are the real face of welfare fraud. Not saying that other people don’t cheat the system but the FLDS have turned welfare fraud into an art form. Yet somehow when some people use the term ‘welfare queen’ you just know the…

TODAY’S SPECIAL is REAL!!!! (Canadian points if you know the show I’m referring to :-) )

The UPS truck must be the cat equivilent of a limo; they have so many boxes to choose from!

Of COURSE it counts. I'm not Unreasonable. Headbands also count.

I mean- are there rides? I feel like the coal mining ride from Dollywood would work well. Just like instead of plunging into mines-you plunge into the pits of hell and watch little animatronic sinners having hot rocks shoved into their behinds. Singing “hell is real after all.” On a loop.

are we gonna do gay things and quote Jurassic park the whole time?

Her missionary brother was killed after a beating by German soldiers as they invaded, so she had to hop a steamboat with an old drunkard captain to make it out of the bay alive.

We’re ovaries-deep in pokecake season right now. Can you fucking not.

never trust a man with two first names

NATURAL things, OBVIOUSLY. Like belladonna, hemlock, jimson weed, oleander, larkspur, foxglove, daphne berries, azaleas, mistletoe, etc., etc. We all know if it’s NATURAL it’s basically medicine.

Fun fact: The NRA lobbies against domestic violence legislation because it makes it harder for domestic abusers to buy guns. They also lobby against laws to make it more difficult for puppy mills to torture dogs because not torturing dogs would make it more expensive to breed hunting dogs.