If Joe Biden’s brain is, indeed, mush, and he becomes the candidate and gets mollywhopped by Trump because he can’t get anyone excited enough about him to vote, then that is quite literally what should happen. There’s been no indication that Biden would actually improve much of anything, and if he can’t start…

Deadspin needs more women writers.

What does Antifa stand for?

So who else needed five extra minutes to finish this blog because they went down a fistball rabbit hole?

Wait...you didn’t understand what that meant?

You’re referring, of course, to a group of gentlemen who were the best on their youth team, probably the best sprinter in their county, the stars of their high school team, and almost certainly a starter at at least a mid-major Division I college, right?

Please get video.

Also, laying down a decent enough bunt to even give a reasonably fast person a chance is arguably harder than just making some contact.

That’s fair, I’ll take back the playing time argument. At the same time, if we’re talking about “me, an average dude who somehow gets to play even decent rotation minutes in an NBA game,” then we have to still consider whether any human being paid by an NBA team to at least try to win (i.e. not a New York Knick) would…

...Dad?

Pretty disgusted with your staunch refusal to HAVE A TAKE.

Buddy, I hit against a kid throwing 92 in high school. I didn’t do well, but I got a piece. And if you think that’s a brag, know that my baseball career ended with the final out of Senior Babe Ruth the summer after my senior year. I was not good. If a pitcher puts a 90-ish mph fastball middle-middle, anyone who’s…

Yeah, that’s the flaw inherent in the question. Like, I’m 5-9 and I haven’t made a 3-pointer since basketball camp when I was like 14. I do not like my chances against even the last guy off of Phoenix’s bench.

....SO YOU’RE TELLING ME THERE’S A CHANCE...

Yep. Faced an eventual MLB draftee in high school and got a piece of him, too. Not a good piece, but enough to know it’s possible.

I still think it’s unlikely to happen because a defense will recognize that the person playing running back is an obvious turnover with no threat to go downfield, so they can just blitz and get the ball, but I suppose for one or two yards it’s possible.

I think you’re underestimating how much more athletic even the least athletic qb/k/p is than the average schlub. Those guys at the very least get to sample some of the creatine the defensive line uses.

It’s baseball. We have to assume a couple things - like the pitcher not taking you seriously enough to throw anything with a break. But even then, if you have a rudimentary understanding of the strike zone and the physical ability to swing a bat, you CAN make contact. Beyond that, who knows.

Huh, turns out even your work sucked too. Too bad.

It’s a bummer when the strawman catches fire, huh?