This may be the funniest non-Magary thing that I’ve ever read here.

Pessimism is reasonable, for sure, and the Right won’t let anything happen easily. But there’s a significant distance between that kind of pragmatism and “nothing will change as long as the 2nd Amendment exists.” The latter is just lazy cynicism that absolves us from trying to do difficult things.

Well it’s a smidge more relevant than the stance that “do something” can only possibly be understood using the math of “something = repeal the 2nd Amendment.”

I have to assume (and hope, and pray) that while the CM and LM were docked, the two non-crapping astronauts retreated to the LM while the crapper was crapping. Or the shitter went into the LM while the two not-naked-and-sweaty-and-shitting dudes stayed in the CM. And if it were me, I’d have demanded the hatch be…

You just openly admitted that you were trying to “make a product you genuinely like better by providing feedback,” yet you weren’t actually using the product. You were glancing at it. You’re the guy in the convenience store who sees a line of soft drinks and you say, “ugh, why did they start making it in orange? This…

So am I. But that somehow has not trained me to disparage the work of people who write informative articles I get to read for free, as if I’m being forced to endure them instead of choosing to read them. 

I have literally never witnessed someone spend this much time making it clear they don’t care about an article on a website. Please go outside.

If I’m at Haas or Lightning Volt (sigh), I’m calling Whyte Bikes right now to ask if they’d be interested in forming the world’s most hilariously petty F1 title co-sponsorship

Oh GOD NOBODY CAAAAAAARES.

My thought was more about Zion meeting Kanter and dunking him back into the Paleozoic Era, but your point about Kanter being a free agent is well taken.

Somebody please remember to get the smelling salts order submitted in time to be shipped to Portland by Nov. 1.

“Housing is too affordable” is one wild-ass statement to make, even behind an anonymous internet name.

Squeeeeeeeeeeeps ain’t going anywhere NEAR that shit....

Oh buddy. Go take a fucking walk outside and get a grip. Jesus dude.

Because while I don’t actually care about getting the last word with a dipshit on the Internet, it’s obviously driving you really insane that you can’t. Seems pretty obvious to me.

The next rhetorical point you understand will be the first, and I just hope you remember to come back and celebrate it with us all here.

Yeah, sorry, as hilarious as Seb’s finishing sign switcharoo was, this was the right call. The (inherently valid) question of “what was he supposed to do?” is answered really easily: Lift. I know that’s not what racers want to do, and nobody really wants to watch Seb sacrifice the lead for good so Lewis can continue…

The guy who just randomly tossed in racism at Fenway Park wants to talk about false equivalencies. Whoo boy, it’s gonna be a long week. Learn some fucking punctuation, at least.

No, it’s fucking bullshit. It’s bullshit if someone from Boston does it, it’s bullshit if someone from New York does it, it’s bullshit if someone from Kenosha does it. Prefacing your “thoughts and prayers” with the sports equivalent of “no homo, but,” is a sign that you’re a fucking child who doesn’t understand that…

This is definitely a sport that should exist. 100%.