After all these years you still haven't seen Heat?! You're missing out!

Oh cool, maybe it'll be like that Danny Boyle movie where the astronauts try to reignite the sun. You know the one!

I dunno, people seem to love it if you speed it up every time they say "bee".

We'll see who gets the honey!

Meet the Parents is funny, I don't care what anybody says!

I hope SpaceX blows up too, because it's Hawthorne office is near where I live and I'm sick of their jaywalking asshole employees trying to run across a six lane highway without looking for traffic.

One of these is next door to a movie theater that I go to all the time, and I always wondered what they served.

Dang dude don't be mad because you weren't cool enough to go to all those great Ween shows.

Can they reissue my copy of the CD that's presumably still stuck in the player of my first car?

I go to sleep for a few hours and wake up to an avalanche of dank memes. What a time time alive!

The Gift: where the threat of raping a woman is used as a generic plot twist to make the guy feel victimized.

Few things brought such swift and terrible retribution on a Superman as a pair of busted glasses!

So you're saying this is some kind of Justice League viral marketing?

Oh sure, and everybody thinks that my proposal of gathering up everybody with poor eyesight for Carousel is just barbaric.

♫ Meundies, Meundies, cuppin' my fuckin' balls
Boop be doot boop ♫

Unseemly is what happens to my pants after eating one of these. By myself. With the shades drawn.

Ayyyyyiiiiiiiiihm jusscheckin' inonyah!

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I'm gonna get all Spike Jonze and start a Kickstarter campaign for a documentary about a director who starts a Kickstarter campaign for their documentary. I'll call it Indie Doc: The Fundening.

"There could be a participation element, where we pit white visitors and black visitors aga-"