Only #5, I don't do Mambos 1-4.

1 Moonlight = 5 Madeas

Please feel free to keep Jeb Bush.

I would do anything for love.

A24 is straight up the new Miramax, their taste in acquisitions is incredible

Sex Ocean, band name, called it!

Is this playing in LA? Can't find any info anywhere.

Please stop jacking off in the closet, I just cleaned it.

Yeah, that's like seven new Presidents from now!

As far as David Lynch-influenced pop singer/songwriters go, I prefer Nicole Atkins, and I'll never understand why she didn't become the biggest star in the country.

I see what you did there!

Does Lee Harvey Oswald have any nephews?

ok

Counterpoint: Moon

I'll say this about real taxis: cab drivers are magic. I don't know how they do it, but it's like being on the best rollercoaster ride ever. Lyft can't match that thrill!

Everybody sucks. I took a cab from LAX to my house the other night (not far), and the guy was driving like 5 miles under the speed limit, coasting to green lights hoping they'd turn red, "missing" turns. Got into a huge argument with him when I stiffed him on the tip.

Protip: "That guy kinda sounds like the man!" is used specifically in instances when somebody is decidedly not the man. It's A Sarcasm.

I dunno, that guy kinda sounds like the man!

[plays "Touch My Tooter" with a mollusk]

Let's not forget that Uber also likes to pressure their contractors into leasing new cars through them. BUT THEY'RE NOT EMPLOYEES, AND THAT AIN'T COMPANY PROPERTY!