"Repeat the sacred words after me… 'I got a Community notification for this?'"

YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE

Amazon is trying to cut corners in major cities where they have big warehouses, so instead shipping things UPS or through the postal service, they're just giving packages to random contractors and who deliver shit out of their own cars. It's fucking crazy and it's the reason I'm going to cancel Prime when it comes…

Can't be worse than AMZL_US drivers, who have never once successfully delivered a package to me.*

I wonder how dumb this dude feels after the racist events surrounding Red Sox fans this week.

[rolls through thread on skateboard, holds out change jar]

Why not, they let him do it!

Not as many, more.

Billy Cobham's beats are so fiery they could melt the iciest of hearts.

Lena Dunham is Sylvester Stallone's age now.

The only fusion I'm interested in is Asian fusion restaurants.

DAT ASS

BUT DEM TITTIES

The first death by motorboat on record.

Oh, so pandas can't hang out in a Lion King coloring book now?

Jon Stewart? Samantha Bee? Who are these nobodies? Man, they'll let anyone on TV!

I've never found any evidence, but I've long suspected "Music to Eat" was a big influence on my namesake. The Minutemen just sound WAY too similar for it to be coincidence.

The latter. I'm a dude, you're a dude, she's a dude. We're all dudes!

I still love the urban legend that "Music to Eat" is the lowest selling album of all time. Glenn Phillips solo work is also worth seeking out.

Yessir.