Growing up in the northeast ruined me for all pizza. Now that I live in LA, my only two options are Costco and Pizza Hut. I know one place in Burbank that's rad (Dino's!) but it's so far away.

I did.

He needs to pick up his shit!

Tony Soprano was originally supposed to leave his family at the diner, track down Dr. Melfi, and get married to her in beautiful ceremony.

The redneck is even missing several teeth!

What if one is a Trump-loving born-again Christian and the other is a redneck whose entire family lives in his girlfriend's parents' house?

There's a lot more in Southern California than you would expect.

Suicide is already generally a selfish act…

I mean, you know some asshole in North Carolina or some other shithole backwoods state is probably saying exactly that right now, and they mean it.

"It is! That's only a quarter of the children slaughtered at Sandy Hook! Progress!"

Well 14-year-old me who saw it thought that it was rad.

Was it RAD????

Anyway there was just a shooting at a San Bernardino, CA elementary school.

I mean I'm being a huge hypocrite because of my Hulu escapades (as described above), but… yeah I don't have a leg to stand on.

If the ratio is 4 Sandler movies for every Okja, then that seems pretty reasonable to me.

I know a couple who make over $200,000 a year combined and they still have the nerve to ask me for, like, my Amazon password if I happen to mention it in conversation.

My most recently watched includes Monday Night Raw, I Love Lucy, Community, Miami Vice, and RuPaul's Drag Race. I have no idea who is watching what.

Hulu does not seem to have this tracking technology, because as a weird experiment I decided to just give my password out to whoever wanted it. I think I'm well over 100 people and I've never had an issue.

Oh yeah, suuuuure.

I got a happy birthday message from my mom last month where the iPhone mistakenly translated "talk to you later" to "fuck you see you later".